TheMaster

@Eva licious wrote:

yr not letting the side down at all su, the guy’s jokes are good

OK they are funny but the fellas still ave to put up wi hair up their nostrils and all over there bum everywhere but on there head x

Don’t be jealous ladies. We’d rather go bald than have periods. :P

Just watched the WKD advert, where the bloke walks…[Read more]

@SimplySu wrote:

Ladies … am I letting the side down by admitting that I am finding the boys’ jokes really funny?!!

I am embarrassed to my feminist roots :)

Hey I’m a feminist.

Well you’ve got to be to get a shag nowadays

@Eva licious wrote:

u boys are doing well i have to admit for the less intelligent sex

mwahh master xxxx

xxxx to you my gorgeous…

I love to pamper my girlfriend after she’s had a stressful day at work.
I get her to text me when she’s leaving so I can get the hot tap running, swirl around the foam and bubbles and time everything perfectly…[Read more]

Child birth: So easy even a woman can do it.

@SimplySu wrote:

Invites all the ladies to withdraw and watch the men battle on ‘getting in the last word’

:)

Or, in other words, “We’re retreating.” Which is fine, but could you get us a beer, while you’re away?

:twisted: :lol: 8)

Welcome to the thread, boy(s) and girls! Enjoy the ride!

Women. Give them a pool table and they’ll hit fùck all, but give them a car and they’ll hit everything!

There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note from my girl, “Don’t eat me.”
Now there’s an empty plate and a note, “Don’t tell me what to do.”

I think my wife has…[Read more]

@Eva licious wrote:

what do u think master wanna wave the white flag n admit defeat xxxx

You wish, lover! xx

I was walking past my local community board the other day, where I spotted a sign that said,

‘Women Against Sexism Workshop’.

I thought, “Workshop? That’s no place for a woman.”

I recently subscribed to SKY TV. They sent a man…[Read more]

The wife was so smug. “Call me the brains of the family from now on!” she said. “I’ve saved a fiver filling the car across the road!”

“What did you do, flash your t!ts at the attendant?” I laughed.

“Ooh, you men are so silly. It’s easy to spot they’re 10p a litre cheaper.”

“Really and on our doorstep?”

“Yes! God knows why you fill it up with…[Read more]

Super-woman hasn’t actually got a cape.. She just turned her apron around.

What’s long and hard and makes women groan?
An Ironing Board.

If women ran the world, there wouldn’t be any wars, but there would be entire nations that wouldn’t speak to each other.

Car ad: “One lady owner.”
Translation: The clutch is fùcked

People say that I’m sexist.

Of course I’m not, sexism is wrong and being wrong is for women.

I don’t understand why women want to be equal when they could be better.

That shows a lack of ambition to me.

Which is why men are better.

Why do men break wind more than women?
Because women can’t shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.

I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was…[Read more]

Harvard scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoeostrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.

To test the theory, 100 men were fed…[Read more]

Why do most men die before their wives?
They want to!

How do you p!ss off a female archaeologist??
Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it comes from.

What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

Why do women fake orgasms…[Read more]

national

Ohhh a driving one huh? You asked for it…

A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: “Please note that this Bank is
installing new “Drive-through” teller machines enabling customers to
withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new
facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when
accessing their accounts. After…[Read more]

“Honey,” said this husband to his wife, “I invited a friend home for supper.”

“What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven’t been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, I look a state and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!”

“I know all that.”

“Then why did you invite a friend for supper?”

“Because the poor fool’s thinking about getting…[Read more]

Q: What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
A: A women who won’t do what she’s told.

Q. Why is it called PMS?
A. Because “Mad Cow Disease” was already taken.

Q. How do you fix a woman’s watch?
A. You don’t. There is a clock on the microwave.

Q. Why do women get married in white?
A. To blend in with the other kitchen appliances.

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