[SimplySu]

@nicey wrote:

… makes a note ……

Su = curlywurly-trollop???

Awwwwwwww

Wanted to be ‘twollop’ ;o)

[SimplySu]

Dear Mr. Trawler,

I hope you didn’t mind me taking liberties with you today; as I said … when I noticed from the dossier of papers, so painstakingly collated by Miss JenJen (a remarkable lady, by the way and someone to whom I aspire to emulate), that it was in fact your birthday, well it seemed too rude of me to allow this auspicious occasion to bypass me without some form of celebratory acknowledgement.

Trawler Mansion is quite something. Thank you so much for the indepth tour; it seemed like every possible nook and cranny was explored in the finest of detail. I do enjoy having such an attentive (and may I say, extremely attractive) boss. Yes, you’ll be delighted to know that you have secured my on-going services!

I’ve decided to accept the post of librarian and the contract seems all above board and legally binding. You have of course assured me that the little spelling error means absolutely nothing, so I shan’t bother having the paperwork checked over by my own legal team. How utterly spontaneous of me; so out of character, but I just thought: what’s the worst that could happen?

May I just take the opportunity to thank you for putting Col. Wordsworth in touch with me? Such a kind gentleman he is too, and impeccable manners, and so considerate of him to waive the necessity of an alternative uniform when I perform similarly at the JC Gentleman’s Club!

How lovely that you are in negotiations yourself too with my wonderful associate, Ms MoneyPenny. She informs me that she is looking forward to more of your private sessions together and is most complimentary about her time spent with you. No details shall pass her lips, or mine, as of course the terms of the NDA are quite strict indeed.

Regarding the on-going search for the cyber Valentine … I have taken it upon myself to summarise, in lists, the more salient points (both for and against) the applicants thus far. I have categorised them alphabetically, geographically, grammatically and chronologically in addition to providing a brief synopsis of character, humour and attractiveness. To be fair, much of the legwork for the latter part of my compilation has been courtesy of Miss JenJen’s sterling investigative work and downright tenacity. I applaud her stylish conduct. I shall provide credit where it is due in forthcoming missives, should you wish to peruse my abilities more closely.

Whilst not technically a typical librarian role, you and I did discuss the possibility when we met today of me attending to your more personal requirements; thus the role of librarian/PA has now been verified and confirmed. I find the thought of assisting you personally to be a thoroughly compelling one and I am sure we shall work well together. Indeed, we shall be working incredibly closely if today’s interview was indicative of future expectations. I completely agree that it seems silly to have more furniture cluttering up the library when there is a perfectly comfortable chair to use in your Master suite. The fact that, due to health reasons you are require to remain seated whenever I am taking down dictation, and that I need to kneel at your feet to rest my jotter on your lap … well, who am I to argue with such common sensibilities?

You mentioned punishment and indicated the finer aspects of these in the (extremely tiny) small print. I’m sure that when I have found my glasses (which seemed to mysteriously disappear as we were engaged in close negotiations) I will then be able to read what these terms and conditions are that I have signed my agreement to.

I hope that you found today’s session with me to be to your satisfaction and I look forward to taking up my position whenever you require. Meanwhile, Miss MoneyPenny and I can be reached at the JC Gentleman’s club, where we seem to have acquired quite an attendance, in addition to our own set of rooms which have the word ‘Boudoir’ painted decoratively on the exterior door. The gentleman assure us that the lock will soon be fixed, and that the camera lenses in the wetroom are just for stylisation effect. We can certainly sleep easy in our bed (which they also assure us will soon be swapped for two singles).

Yours sincerely
SimplySu

PS … I am still deliberating over your request for me to address you as ‘Master’ whenever we converse. Does this extend to written correspondence too? In which case, I apologise for the rudeness of this letter … Master.

PPS … I hope the riding crop and boots were not too much of a distraction. I have still yet to find somewhere for the saddle.

[SimplySu]

Happy birthday, lovely.

44 … hmmmm

:D

Lots of love and hugs from SimplySu and Miss MoneyPenny

x x x

[SimplySu]

@wordsworth60 wrote:

Dear Ms SimplySu,

Mr Trawler. has recommended that I contact you directly, although I am somewhat reticent about doing so. We have a high mutual regard for each other and share fraternal concern for our club.

I have a proposal for you:

I wonder if you are available for the re-ordering of the small library here in our main lounge as several publications appear to have been mis-filed.

I can assure you that you would not be required to vary your agreed dress code with Mr Trawler in any way. The project would be expected to last for several weeks and need frequent review after completion.

You might be interested to know that we keep, in first class condition, a sizeable stock of vintage confectionery, including Curly Wurlies, from which you would be welcome to select a few samples of your favourites during any attendance at the club.

As your associate Miss MoneyPenny is at a loose end, would you like to enlist her assistance? I will seek your advice on whether the dress code should apply to both of you.

Yours sincerely

W Wordsworth. Col (retd)

Dear Col. Wordsworth (ret’d)

I am flattered that you thought of me, and how kind of Mr Trawler to provide you with my contact details. He speaks very highly of you and I trust his impeccable taste in people he chooses to associate closely with.

I have ventured into the JC Gentleman’s club on occasion, and am familiar with several of its patrons. Please pass on my highest regards to ‘Sadness’. Knock on the cupboard door too and whisper a kind word to f_pol in passing.

I am grateful that I require no special uniform to complete my designated tasks. How kind of you to consider me. Obviously you will no doubt inspect me ahead of time to ensure that I pass muster?

I have discussed the matter at length with my beautiful associate, Ms. MoneyPenny, and she would be delighted to avail of her services too. Why, we were only discussing recently how lovely it would be for the two of us to meet gentlemen with manners and courtesy … and perhaps a little dancing? What a perfect opportunity to do so!

Regarding the chocolate; I’d like to know how much and how often? Ms MoneyPenny wonders at the alternative delights as she does not share my chocolate craving. Personally, I would be glad to sample my favourites whenever I attend the club.

Are you sure that the other gentleman wont object to our uniform, or lack thereof? Have we their approval too? We would not like to be in a position where embarrassment arose. How often is the main lounge used, for example, and by whom? What would our working hours be and to whom would we be responsible? Will we be expected to perform our duties in front of an audience?

Would we be allowed our own personal quarters during rest breaks? This is particularly important on Wednesdays. We shall discuss the finer details of the reasons this at a mutually convenient date.

Suffice to say; provided Mr Trawler is equally obliging, we would be delighted to pursue this offer further. We’re very hard workers and we’ve had no complaints thus far regarding our excellent customer relations.

Looking forward to spending time in your company, and that of your fellow compatriots. I’m sure you won’t be disappointed with either of us.

Yours sincerely,

Ms SimplySu

PS … always had a soft spot for a military man, retired or otherwise.

[SimplySu]

On behalf of Miss MoneyPenny:

Dear Diary … I have a dilemma. I know it’s been ever such a long time since I’ve written to you (and to be fair, I tend to use the pages as a colouring book, but the pictures are very pretty!), so I hope you don’t mind me using you as a sounding board.

I’ve applied for a cyber date!

I know!

Me!

Not only that, I’ve had a reply. Sighs. He’s such a gentleman, but I fear he will never be mine. Despite that, I think he deserves a little something for all his efforts, so I need to think of a suitable gift. Such a special man with special qualities deserves something a bit special. What do you suggest?

I am searching for my own perfect bond. I crave the feeling of something warm in my hand; something steamy and satisfyingly refreshing. I am of course referring to my passion for tea, so my perfect bond would be more Brook than James.

Oh Diary, what should I do? He’s so popular with the ladies and in fact has had so many applications for the same vacancy, that I’m sure he will choose wisely. But those other ladies just want him for his chocolate and give him nothing in return. How could I get him to notice me; I’m easily missed in a crowd?

Mens du er opptatt med å samle inn stener, kan du bli med utsikt over en diamant.

Thank you, Diary. Smiles.

[SimplySu]

Love and best Wishes.

x x x

[SimplySu]

Phew … I can work with the dress code requirements; it was wearing my glasses that was worrying me.

I shall formulate my written response to your kind missive forthwith, but I have prior engagements on this fine day … forgive my hastily written reply in the first instance but I felt it deserved comment

:lol:

[SimplySu]

@j_in_france wrote:

@mrs_teapot wrote:

@j_in_france wrote:

@mrs_teapot wrote:

@j_in_france wrote:

I would like to be me in about three weeks time when I won’t have to sit six inches away from the screen to be able to see what is written on it

Lost your glasses J??

Cataract op on Wednesday Mrs T

Hope it all goes well J :D

Thanks Mrs T, but I have met the surgeon – blonde beautiful female so I am sure it will be good ;)

Let’s hope she is a blonde beautiful female AFTER the operation!

Kidding x best wishes

[SimplySu]

@rusty trawler wrote:

Besides, given your knowledge of the Dewey classification system, I don’t think I will reminisce too much about his traditional services; I’m rather elated at the prospect of replacing him with a Rubenesque librarian.

Kind regards,

Rusty Trawler

P.S: I’m afraid CheekyLittleMinx has depleted my supply of CurlyWurlies. Would it be possible for me to entice you with a Sherbet Dip?

Firstly … no, I cannot abide sherbet … makes my mouth too tingly and my eyes water. You may pay me in chocolate kind when you have replenished stock levels. To compensate for my current disappointment, perhaps you might consider more than just the one bar?

Secondly … I have pondered awhile at my predicament. Whilst I admit to regarding you with a degree of fondness, I confess to feeling excited at the prospect of gainful employment (as opposed to the slightly less traditional sources of income that currrently predisposes my time).

Therefore, might I suggest that you might forward me a job description and application form for the librarian role? I am readily available at your whim …

for interview.

Perhaps an indication too as to the required dress code?

I look forward to working alongside you. I cannot wait to get my hands on your treasures. I just love old relics, especially ones in remarkable condition …

as I suspect your book collection is.

Yours most sincerely.

S Simply (AKA something rather more dubious!)

PS … does the role of librarian prohibit the prospect of suggested ‘tumble’?

[SimplySu]

Written on behalf of ‘Miss MoneyPenny’

Dear Mr Trawler
I would be interested in applying for the position of cyber valentine as I find myself at a loose end too.
However, could we come to some sort of other arrangement on the chocolate? I don’t like chocolate, it’s not my thing.
Perfume, holidays or diamonds. You choose!
Failing that, crayons and colouring book would be accepted in lieu of jiggy. I have no experience myself in this matter, so I will be entirely in your hands so to speak.
I hope that the cyber date will result in the welcome delights of being snuggled up on the sofa with a cup of tea, well before 9pm.
Look forward to hearing from you.
From your honey money :D xx

[Author]

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