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The JC Gentlemen’s Club Rulebook
habere ceruisiam, etiam pila, song, pizza et occasionales domina
1st RULE: You do not talk about the JC GENTLEMEN’S CLUB.
2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about JC GENTLEMEN’S CLUB.
3rd RULE: The ladies are your ‘frenemies’ – because despite how much you love your best buddy, there are a few things he CAN’T do.
4th RULE: NEVER add a garnish or a salad to anything you eat.
5th RULE: NEVER disguise a fart but you can blame it on someone else for comedy value.
6th RULE: We don’t care if Strictly clashes with the footy and she won’t be ‘nice’ to you if you don’t let her watch it. The remote control is yours – grow a pair!
7th RULE: If someone offers you a beer you can never say, ‘No thanks, I’ve already had three.’
put ’em back up. they were very funny and they started a hilarious gender war.
@sceptical guy wrote:
@(f)politics? wrote:
For the ladies so its fair.. Dancing erm .. men :?I give you the JC Blokes…
Sorry ladies,
Just like an old Etonian, Oxbridge educated toff i was tempted to join the other side, but any club that appreciates the fine, debonaire talent that is Fred Astaire… Well suffice to say, any club that turns out fine fellow travellers like that is the kind of place you’d want your hubbies, partners and man-children to frequent, n’est ce pa?
Glad everything’s going swimmingly in the JC branch of the W.I.
BTW, I wasn’t joking about Downton Abbey, any of you ladies wanna play footsie with me whilst we sit on the chintz, Laura Ashley sofa and listen to the weekend edition of Woman’s Hour on Radio 4? This week it’s presented by the lovely Jenni Murray.
Don’t tell the lads but something tells me this is the only place I will be able to watch Downton Abbey without any stick.
Sorry but I draw the line at watching bald men pole dance.
Perhaps I should go and talk about bra sizes, pmt, and women’s beards?
Nah. I’d rather watch bald men pole dance.
lol Panda
OK Brothers,
I’ve lined up some entertainment for the weekend
sorry, it’s the best I could do at short notice.
Don’t suppose we could convince the girls to lay on a spread?
Hey Rustler.. Sort your font out though huh broseph?
It may seem a trifle but we need manly male like solidarity here.
Our motto is “Never Neglect The Little Things”… Ahem Rolling EyesDude! What was i thinking?
Hope my unforgivable lapse don’t affect my membership.
Lads,
I tried to take one for the boys and I was dead set on seeking revenge on the girls for sneaking into our room. I resisted the smell of gorgeous home-made goodies that were baking in the oven. I wasn’t really tempted by the cute glasses of Lambrini on the tables or the soft-piped music, but regretfully I gave in to the girly magazines but they were more about knitting patterns, Zara shopping vouchers and 10 reasons why your fella is really an ass.
Then they ceased open me like a group of amorous octopi (is that the plural for octopus?) and only tried to size me up for my bra size. That’s not the worst of it, I think I liked it so much that I may have discovered my feminine side. Anyway, it smells rather nice in here. Is that the faint whiff of Glade lavender pout pourri I can detect? And those curtains soooo don’t go with those power tools.
Panda makes a good point. I do tend to waffle and I’m not very good at self-editing. If I’m painfully honest then I think I would probably skip most of what I say – and I wrote the stuff.
I could say lots more but I won’t. See! I’m a quick learner.
I’ll try to keep it to the point.
Thanks.
