pikey

Uncanny. The fellow’s some kind of low level superhero. And to think how proud of my endos I used to be.

I say, reading back, that Panda woman’s a bit unpleasant, eh? Seems to have her default setting on ‘drug dealer’s, Daily Mail reading pit-bull’. Frightful. I do hope she doesn’t try and engage in conversation. It’s all rather common.

I do think I might of had her, old thing.

I’m very glad you are, Tomster, old chap. The country needs young fellows like you. You’re not still on about all that nationalist rot, are you? You’re like Luke Skywalker’s dad, you are. First we think you’re a good guy, you flirt with The Dark Side, then we recover you but our hopes are dashed when you seem to be lost forever. You’ll come good…[Read more]

The Republic of the United Kingdom? Nice one.

You people need to get something straight. You seem to think that all the facets of this business, the wheres and how should bes, are something to do with you. You seem to be labouring under the misapprehension that you are citizens, that you are as important as the next person. This is wrong. Those…[Read more]

When that I was a little wee boy
Sing hey ho, the wind and rain
Life was a song, and love a toy
The rain it rains, ‘most every day

And when I came to man’s estate
Sing hey ho, the wind and rain
‘Gainst thieves and knaves men shut their gate
The rain it rains, ‘most every day

Hey ho, the wind and rain
The rain it rains ‘most every day

Ten pretty…[Read more]

Have you tried belting them, rubbing their noses in the mess and chucking them on the back garden, all the while profanely shouting at them?

I’ve noticed that the media spotlight has been turned on the Persians and I too suspect that may be because military action is being considered by the allies of Britain.

However, that notwithstanding, evil like the stoning of slags, and some of my fondest acquaintances are slags, should not be ignored or accepted. A despotic law is a despotic…[Read more]

@jen_jen wrote:

I thought piking sounded a bit nasty actually, made me wince a little :-s

It is true that a good piking will involve wincing.

If I was dying, I’d spend all my money on booze, whores and narcotics. I might do it anyway. After all, you never know if you’ll be hit by a bus in the morning.

Utter nonsense from beginning to end, old boy.

On a completely unrelated note, have you found out if Fidel and Bob really were Arsenal fans? I was tempted to just start giving them my support anyway after the Braga game, but it would be nice to know.

When Venus, the goddess of beauty and love
Arose from the froth that swam on the sea
Minerva sprang out of the cranium of Jove
A coy, sullen dame as most mortals agree
But Bacchus, they tell us, that prince of good fellows
Was Jupiter’s son, pray attend my tale
They who thus chatter mistake quite the matter
He sprang from a barrel of Nottingham…[Read more]

Forgive me, Mr Gazlan, but you seem to have taken me at crossed purposes. I meant to show, by posting the full text of the act, that nothing much under the sun has changed. Apart from all that, ‘We don’t like Catholics ’round here. You’re not a Catholic, are you? Do you solemnly swear never to be one?’ stuff, it’s just banging on about the primacy…[Read more]

An Act Declaring the Rights and Liberties of the Subject and Settling the Succession of the Crown

Whereas the Lords Spiritual and Temporal and Commons assembled at Westminster, lawfully, fully and freely representing all the estates of the people of this realm, did upon the thirteenth day of February in the year of our Lord one thousand six…[Read more]

Indeed. You put my apologises with the others. Wherever they might be.

I’m glad you’re not grumpy. It’s just you seemed to be wishing me a car accident. I thought it a bit of an overreaction, I must say. I surmised that either I must of upset you unwittingly or perhaps we had knocked against each other in the past when you had a different name.…[Read more]

If you can show good evidence that Fidel and Marley (Peace Be Upon Him) are/were Arsenal supporter(s), I will give the Undeniably Mighty Gunners my full support in every Premiership season the A Bit Deniably Mighty Rams are unrepresented (which is quite a lot) until the day I die.

I went to see my tailor and she said, ‘Oh, you have changed your hair.’

I said, ‘Indeed, I’ve had enough of tarty brunette.’

She replied, ‘Oh, you’ve gone for tarty blonde instead.’

What a cheek! Then she just went about her business with my inside-leg like nothing had passed. It’s lucky for her I can’t do without her puckering, I can tell you.

How spectacularly feisty you are, Ms Panda. I didn’t realise I knew you well enough to be at loggerheads. Please do excuse my terrible manners that have led you to be so upset. You have my full apologies.

You’re right. I do seem to have cut and pasted in the wrong place. It makes me a bad person, I know.

You seem to think I am udermining the level of teaching being carried out, Ms Panda. I have nothing but admiration for the work being carried out by our nation’s pedagogues and count a great many amongst my friends.