[Made up name]

@angel* wrote:

@Made up name wrote:

these made me smile……. took 2 and was high as a kite :D

LOL reminds me of me hubbys pain killers…….1 of them and I’m floating…..he was only sayin last week that his meds seem to be going down quicker than usual :oops: :-

I took 2 :shock: i never known the wall to be so funny :lol:

then i passed out #-o

[Made up name]

these made me smile……. took 2 and was high as a kite :D

[Made up name]

@*Sian* wrote:

@catz wrote:

@geoff wrote:

@veronica wrote:

If you don’t mind, what is a tart?

A Sian or Catz, women of little morals.

That’s us :D

Ooooo Sianny wanna tart with me? :wink:

Ooooooooo yes there is someone we could spitroast :P :wink:

<

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dead :lol: :lol:

[Made up name]

going out for breakfast and having the sauna all to myself……. No fat smelly bastids :)

[Made up name]

moaning as i pulled a muscle in my back :lol:

why I’m laughing is beyond me…. it bloody hurt’s like hell :lol:

[Made up name]

:oops:

[Made up name]

:lol: :lol: =D>

[Made up name]

yw 8)

[Made up name]

@Made up name wrote:

@~*Lucky*~ wrote:

@Made up name wrote:

@~*Lucky*~ wrote:

Dreading work today

by the time you read this it should be all over :D

make yourself a nice cup off tea…. sod that grab the wine 8)

reading it and the day is over but the problem aint even begun yet… Now dreading tomorrow but hey least it will be Friday

mmmmmmmm @ wine, very tempting!!!

damn, that bad?? :(

I tell you what i do when I’m sad/upset/angry go into a card shop and read all the funny cards…. i went to get a birthday card for someone this morning from this busy card shop in north london. It’s lucky they know me now :? i had to sit on the floor laughing so much i had tears running down my face…. it’ll either cheer you up for a lil while or get you locked up. i think the girls in the shop find it quiet funny now :?

i’ll go find you some jokes ….. i’ll be back :arrow:

OK……….

How To Deal With Your Angry Wife

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, “You know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!”

His buddy looks at him and says, “Well, you’re obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the butt and say, “You as horny as I am? And she always acts like she’s sound asleep!

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Firming up
One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on her bottom and said,

“You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle.”

While this was on the edge of intolerable, she thought herself better and replied with silence.

The next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast and said,

“You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra.”

This was beyond a silent response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. With a death grip in place she said,

“You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the gardener, the pool man and your brother.”

---

I was tired of being bossed around by my wife; so I went to a
psychiatrist.The psychiatrist said I needed to build my self-esteem,
and so he gave me a book on assertiveness, which I read on the way home.

I finished the book by the time I reached my house. I stormed into the
house and walked up to my wife. Pointing a finger in her face, and
said, “From now on, I want you to know that *I* am the man of this house
and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight
and when I’m finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert
afterwards.
Then, after dinner, you’re going to draw me my bath so I can relax.
And,when I’m finished with my bath, guess who’s going to dress me and
comb my hair?”

Wife say’s, “The funeral director”

[Made up name]

@~*Lucky*~ wrote:

@Made up name wrote:

@~*Lucky*~ wrote:

Dreading work today

by the time you read this it should be all over :D

make yourself a nice cup off tea…. sod that grab the wine 8)

reading it and the day is over but the problem aint even begun yet… Now dreading tomorrow but hey least it will be Friday

mmmmmmmm @ wine, very tempting!!!

damn, that bad?? :(

I tell you what i do when I’m sad/upset/angry go into a card shop and read all the funny cards…. i went to get a birthday card for someone this morning from this busy card shop in north london. It’s lucky they know me now :? i had to sit on the floor laughing so much i had tears running down my face…. it’ll either cheer you up for a lil while or get you locked up. i think the girls in the shop find it quiet funny now :?

i’ll go find you some jokes ….. i’ll be back :arrow:

[Author]

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