Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
tell you tomoz mate im bolloxed
yeh erm that reminds me of something
back int day as we say oop north(well i dont thats more like them yorkshire folk)
you know lahk when t internet was all just fields
i discovered the joys of e mails
and i thought to myself theres gotta be a blag somewhere
so i emailed a nice posh restaurant which id always fancied going to
and said we had a lovely meal but alas the waitress accidentally spilt soup on my jacket which i had just had dry cleaned (which i had actually cos i was going to a wedding the next week)
reply was oh sorry sir have yougot the receipt
me yeh no problem i pop it in so i did
profusely sorry sir heres two vouchers for the best table in the house free meal and a bottle of wine any night you choose(only one night btw lol)
me ok cheers
so i said to me missus at the time get your glad rags out for saturday
her “why”
me “we going out for a meal”
her “oh get lost im not getting dolled up to go to the chippy”
me “honest”
her “hmm lets see eh youve never taken me out before”
anyway we did go got treated like royalty
her “what you up to you ?
me “what”
her “nobodys ever nice to you”
me “oh the owners a mate from years back we used to knock about together
you know bird nesting,conkers,marbles etc
her ” hmm”
anyway i got a few more getting in football matches oh and when i got a crate of bulmers sent to me it was a good un that lot but i wont bore you
unless you wanna know
adios amigos,
1 member liked this post.
pernod cider and lime in a pint pot
1 member liked this post.
i went to wembley 2 years ago to see my beloved manchester city
i was proper munchied up
i espied a pizza van thing advertising 6 quid
im thinking thats not a bad shout for london heres how it went
me yeh one of them mate plz
acne ridden======” one of wot mate ”
me “one of dem pizza fings”
spotsville” there you go 6 quid
me “wheres the rest of it””?
nobslap ” its 6 pound a slice you dickhead”if you dont like it fack off back to manchesteret
well we did we won the cup i said” i said hang on lads fore we get in the van summat i gorra do
me boys” ffs hurry up where you off now ”
torched his van
nobody slaggs my home city off
1 member liked this post.
the linesman not sure tho
1 member liked this post.
well if i get sacked off no biggy is it plenty more sites to bend ppl minds upif i did
never been on ,,yet
what are these dating sites like any good?
god if i went on one no i wont but im a trained hypnotist id have em mooing like a cow “yeh come round to mine luv i sort you out after match of the days finished
typical bloke me or am i hmmm
1 member liked this post.
i have to keep it down in here low tones man
why?
i tell you why cos ive got the witches of eastwick on my back
all three of them bubbling round a cauldron wassapping marty
oh just ban him martin purleaze love you loads xxx pfft
1 member liked this post.
lol i will try but im not really funny im deadly serious
1 member liked this post.
i do its me thats paying not sure if my uni cred will stretch that far,,,aah well its only money hey ho
1 member liked this post.
