[Jayne]

MANCHESTER UNITED MEMBERSHIP

DO YOU COME FROM MANCHESTER?

DO YOU HAVE RELATIVES IN MANCHESTER?

DO YOU LIVE NEAR MANCHESTER?

If you say NO to these three questions, you are an ideal person to
become a fan of

MANCHESTER UNITED

Yes, this is your big chance to join the ever-growing army of glory
hunting c***s who can be seen around the country in the colours of The
$cum. To join the newly formed club, simply send in a map with a cross
marking where you think the city of Manchester is. In the unlikely event
of there being two correct entries and thus a tie, fill in the tiebreak
question at the bottom of the page.

* YOU COULD WIN *

FIRST PRIZE: Brand new, 03 registration Ford Bandwagon for you and the
others to jump on. This prestige vehicle comes with many features,
including stereo radio (pre-set to come on at 4:45pm every Saturday as
you, of course, won’t be at the game).

SECOND PRIZE: One year’s supply of new design Manchester United replica
shirts. These will be despatched to you weekly.

THIRD PRIZE: A complete supply of Manchester United programmes from the
games that you have attended. Both will be sent in the same envelope.

Tie Breaker (in no more than 12 words)

I feel it necessary to follow a football team that I have absolutely no
connection with because:

………………………………………………..
……………… ……………………………………….

Name:
………………………………………………………………
.. …………………

Address:
………………………………………………………………
.. ………………

Age:…………………………….

Mental Age:…………………………………………………..

Your home town: London / Basildon / Torquay / Tokyo / Wales / Manchester
(don’t lie!!)

Your big match seat: Sofa / Armchair / in bed (with “I still love David
Beckham” snug bedspread)

Your view: Biased / Blocked (picture of Beckham) / Blocked (beer belly)

Have you ever considered going to Old Trafford? __________

Where were YOU when United were $hit? (Please account for all 28 years
until 1992) ________________

TICK all of the teams that you’ve supported over the past five years:
Blackburn Rovers ______
Leeds United _______ Arsenal _______ Other (perhaps champions in another
country?) ________

TICK all of the teams you’ll be supporting next year? Liverpool________
Glasgow Celtic_______
Real Madrid_________ Brazil_________ Anyone else who wins a
lot___________

Number of your mates who now support United? ________

Number of Mancunians (if any): __________

Number claiming to be lifelong United fans? ___________

Replica Kit Opinion Section what colour would you like next seasons kits
to be???

Home kit: _____________

Away kit: _____________

Second Away kit: _____________

Third Away Kit: _____________

Fourth Away Kit: _____________

Fifth Away Kit: _____________

Special Ltd Edition Away Kit: _____________

Feb 29th Leap Year Day Kit: _____________

Sunday Afternoon kit: _____________

Monday Evening Exclusively Sponsored by Ford and Sky WWW page kit:
_____________

Midweek Print-your-own-Money European Super League kit: _____________

Off season Second-Thursday of every month Morning Practice Training Kit
sponsored by Pepsi and Spice Girls:_____________

Do you intend buying them all? _____________

PLEASE FILL OUT TO BEST OF YOUR ABILITIES (WE DONT EXPECT MIRACLES. THIS
IS UNITED YOU KNOW)

:shock: :lol: :lol:

[Jayne]

:-# :-k

[Jayne]

:roll: :shock: :lol:

[Jayne]

Good Evening :lol:

[Jayne]

I want snow! :evil:

[Jayne]

18yr olds….Drum and Bass, RnB and Garage!

[Jayne]

*shuts front door, and looks left and right for Willy*

see you along the road, and pay attention to obstacles on route, i aint got time to sit in a hospital :shock:

see you later x

[Jayne]

:oops:
well come on then, im leaving in a minute, get following 8-[

[Jayne]

OMG, you have got it bad :lol:

[Jayne]

Didnt you see that bloke on telly that messed with his manhood, it ended up the size of a swollen haggis :shock: :lol:

[Author]

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