[ForumHostPB]

@andydec wrote:

yet again ive problems with my x box, this time i have 4 green lights on my pad,and cannot connect to x box. ive tried to sync them but to no avail.Any help please

Er ….. set fire to it and claim on the insurance ????

[ForumHostPB]

@jen_jen wrote:

Yipes

Pipes

[ForumHostPB]

@forumhostgm wrote:

well i suppose its a bit like when the mother board in your computer has a meltdown
what do you do then?

Er …. I would pick up a library book and carry on reading it.

BTW: MY computer is German and was made by Maxdata GmbH (in liquidation) and like other German stuff it is not allowed to breakdown – so the possibility doesn’t arise.

[ForumHostPB]

Well I suppose that if you throw loads of money and loads of high technology at a non existent problem you’ll eventually come up with something like the iPad.

However the chances are that some clever little geek in a darkened garret in Silicon Valley invented it and then thought “Now what can we do with this gadget???”

“I know we’ll sell it to people for an obscene price and tell them they can pay to read books on it”.

Yeah it’s a really great idea (not).

[ForumHostPB]

OMG!!! That view was soo last century.

Look – I followed the selection procedure described above and took 12 library books with me in the suitcase on my summer holiday. What can be so difficult with that.

No mess – no fuss – no bother – and best of all …… NO COST !!!

[ForumHostPB]

I find that popping down to my local library is even more effective.

They have a great visual display system (bookshelves) where you can browse books by category ‘at a glance’. You don’t have to browse books individually to select a title that interests you.

Browsing is in full colour AND in 3D

You can manually select books and add them to your ‘cart’.

Best of all when you get to the ‘checkout’ it’s FREE. Yup you pay nothing at all.

Beats an iPad any day.

[ForumHostPB]

Memo to Northern fatties:

Subject: Visit to the capital city;

When waddling across Tower Bridge to greet one’s Southern mates – remember to ensure that it is in the closed position.

Note – you can tell that it is closed ‘cos there isn’t a bloody great hole in the middle.

[ForumHostPB]

The white tie is essential as it shows the stains from the tomato sauce splashes thus confirming the authenticity of both the dish and the eater.

The ‘loud’ chalk-stripe suit is also an essential part of the uniform as it is an allegorical reference to spaghetti.

Sorry Pete, but to properly enjoy spaghetti and meatballs in tomato sauce – jus lika da momma makes – you simply have to dress for the occasion.

[ForumHostPB]

Thank you all for your entirely unsolicited testimonials for Kaspersky. These heartwarming little stories, when passed on to their PR department, allow me to claim substantial commission cheques. Every little bit helps eh?

[ForumHostPB]

Bat, take your daughter down to the A&E department of your nearest hospital and have both of her hands encased in Plaster of Paris. THAT will stop her from using the computer for a while.

Alternatively, make her sit in front of it for a few hours trying to clean off the virus / Trojan that she has caused to be downloaded onto it ….. and for good measure make her listen to classical music while she does this.

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