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In front of a waterfall of what appears to be blood, we see the beginning of Serbia’s entry.

The singer, who I think is female, moves to the pool of blood at the foot of the waterfall and gives us her solo interpretation of whatever she is singing about.

A large group of women move around her, as they each massage each other and break into song…[Read more]

Germany give us their version of Frank Sinatra in German. Perhaps a little arrogant when you consider even the French gave up their language for the good of the competition.

EDIT – Hang on, he seems to have ended in English. Or was he singing in English all along? It was rather hard to tell!

Is Europe happy to be taken back to the 1950s? If so…[Read more]

Confusingly called song number one, but in fact it is song number 15. But who cares? The set bursts into life with a monologue that sounds decidedly American.

They are promising to flash skin, and say they won’t let us down. Well currently they are very conservatively dressed – will the Russians rip off their costumes as a climax to the…[Read more]

Ah, at last a real gentleman enters Eurovision. Dressed in a suit with bow tie and carrying a rose, we can only suppose he is trying to win over the woman of his dreams.

Unfortunately the only person to appear is yet another two men in bowler hats with flowers. What are they after? It’s impossible to say but whatever it is, it’s in high demand as…[Read more]

Well even the French decide to sing in English which surely must turn away the home fans and expats. Oh no hang on, they seem to be singing in Franglais which will be sure to please everyone.

Very clever by the French. Very clever indeed.

Richard O’ Brien seems to have been brought on board for the French entry and dressed all in pink. Is that a…[Read more]

Fire, energy, bass and enthusiasm greet us as Sweden’s entry gets going. Fortunately the lead signer displays his chest, presumably to prove he is actually a man, although the hair and make up would suggest otherwise.

The spinning spirals surrounding the act seem to mesmerise and hypnotise – is this a sneaky attempt by the Swedes to win by…[Read more]

How the lady in red can maintain her composure as chain-link coated warriors dance all around her is a mystery to me, but maintain it she does.

The song gets funkier and funkier as we begin to worry about the body temperature of the Olde Worlde warriors dancing like crazy in their chain jackets and swords.

A sword battle ensues, yet the singer…[Read more]

Immediately we are transferred into an Eastern European strip club, the girls are energetic, the tune is catchy and the man sandwiched amongst the strippers… I mean ladies, refuses to be distracted as he remains focussed on his dance routines and the power of his song.

Is this a cover of a Ricky Martin song? Who knows – all we know is that…[Read more]

I remember being a little disappointed with Lithuania’s entry last year. Let’s hope they put in a better effort this year.

We start of with some acoustic guitar and are introduced to our singer who sits in front of a silhouetted band. Are the silhouettes real people? Or cardboard cut outs, similar to those used in the Home Alone film?

She sings…[Read more]

Unsubstantial Blues is this year’s entry from Hungary, and we soon understand the meaning behind the song as we are plunged into the depths of some ‘real’ Blues music in the Eurovision style.

The singer seems to have an unhealthy obsession with a bus stop – is that artistic interpretation, or just a Hungarian thing?!?

She seems confused as to…[Read more]

We settle in for some opera on this one…. expressive arm and finger waving gives the distinct impression this is her own version of Swan Lake…..

The moon in the background convinces me we are about to see some Werewolves but in the end I am disappointed.

Hang on, perhaps all those arm movements were meant to represent the half-man,…[Read more]

HermanGRRRman! – Well English is the language of beautiful song so it’s only right that Eurovision adopts it, eh?!?

Macedonia offer us a slow motion acrobatics display, which must be a little distracting for the poor girl trying to sing for us all….

No sooner than I voice this concern, the song explodes into life with an uptempo beat and some…[Read more]

Well here is the home entry…. the crowd goes wild just as we would expect….

The Finns must have invented the time machine as a woman all in black appears straight from the 80s. The crowd seems stunned into silence, but still retain their flag waving optimism.

We are told to leave her alone, she wants to go home. Someone should tell her she…[Read more]

Well it looks like Ireland have gone for tradition once again….

Their singer seems to have the uncanny ability of singing something with her mouth but having the words come out somewhere completely different. Very impressive.

There seems to be some slow rocking, and general confusion both on stage and amongst the audience with this…[Read more]

First we see some screens and some mysterious ladies… are we going to see some magic? Will he make the audience disappear?

Well perhaps – a man in black seems to appear from nowhere, and seems to make love to himself whilst singing to us all.

Apparently he doesn’t want to lose the magic, or lose the feeling. Unfortunately the way he is…[Read more]

The Spain act explodes into life with a bunch of lads all dressed in white. Their purity must be questioned however, when they begin to shake and sway as they sing their little hearts out.

The all love their ‘Vida’ apparently – and who can blame them? As the performance grinds on though, we can only worry for the safety of the female ‘drummers’…[Read more]

And we’re off – the crowd go wild, and who can blame them as the spectacular known as the Eurovision Song Contest enters it 52nd year!

Bosnia put up a marvellous interpretation of heaven, with guitar players and hippies singing and jiving in a pool of smoke and clouds.

Bless them….

Next up Spain!

Well so far we are given the outstanding advice of not voting until we have heard all the songs… odd one that, eh?!?

Oh and in case you forgot the event is held in Helsinki, we are kindly reminded about 20 times.

Roll on the first song, here comes Bosnia & Herzegovina…

You can never destroy the Hoff. Even if you remove his physical presence, his spirit and all it stands for will live on forever.

How about PB?