Yorkshiremen and Southeners … lol !

Why should you never ask a person if they come from Yorkshire?
Because if they are not from Yorkshire, they’ll be insulted.
And if they are from Yorkshire, they’d have told you already.

A northerner can always tell when he has crossed the border into the south
because southerners keep fruit on the sideboard when nobody is sick.

Alice dies, aged 78, having attended church in Leeds every Sunday of her life.
Her husband, Joe, asks the stonemason for a headstone with the words: ‘Lord,
she was thine’. The stonemason writes: ‘Lord she was thin’. Joe says: ‘”You’ve
missed off the e, you’ll have to do it again.” Weeks later Joe goes to see the
stone on the grave, and it now reads: ‘Ee Lord she was thin’.

A Yorkshire man comes through to his wife and says ” Put your coat on dear”.
The wife says brightly “Why, are we going out?”
” No!” he says, “I’m going out. So I’m switching off the central heating.”

I parked my car in Liverpool when it was European Capital of Culture.
All the wheels were stolen and I found my car propped up on four piles of books.

The North and South have a love/hate relationship.
Southerners love themselves and northerners hate them for it.

Cockney says to Geordie: ‘Sex, don’t talk to me about sex, we were at it all night’.
Geordie replies: ‘What’s the matter, could you not get it right the first time?’.

A general inspecting troops in Hampshire ordered the parade to don gas masks.
He paused opposite a northern soldier. Pointing to the eyepiece of his respirator,
he inquired: “Soldier, where is your anti-mist?”. “Don’t know, Sir” came the reply “
Think she’s oop with Uncle Albert in Oldham”