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” THE GOOD OLD DAZE ”

A police officer found a perfect hiding place for watching for speeding motorists.

One day, the officer was amazed when everyone was under the speed limit, so he investigated and found the problem.

A 10 years old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said “Radar Trap Ahead.”

A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy’s accomplice: another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading “TIPS” and a bucket at his feet full of change.

PS…..Certainly Not Me And My Brother For Sweets, And Chocolate Bars, And Pop, And Crisps  

• This reply was modified 6 years, 5 months ago by  Ambassador Of Truth.

The Ex.

He spent the first day sadly packing his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things.

On the third day, he sat down on the floor in the dining room by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When he had finished, he went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp and caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods. He replaced the end caps on the curtain rods and cleaned up the kitchen. Then he moved out.

When the wife returned with her new boyfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything from cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off poison gas, during which they had to move out for a few days. They even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked.

People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-husband called the woman and asked how things were going. She told him they were selling the house but did not tell the real reasons why. He listened politely and said that “he missed his old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back”. Knowing his ex-wife  had no idea about the smell, she agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if he were to sign the papers that very day. He agreed, and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork for her to sign.
As he stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home, including the curtain rods.

I LOVE HAPPY ENDINGS, DON’T YOU?