Women and Elephants

Hope these make you smile certy…. many a true word spoken in jest :D

Ever noticed how all women’s problems begin with men? MENstrual cramps…MENtal breakdown….MENopause…GUYnocologist!!

Why don’t men wear tight underwear?
It cuts off circulation to the brain!

What’s the difference between a man and a chimpanzee?
One is hairy, smelly and is always scratching himself. The other is a chimpanzee.

Did you hear about the two men who went ice fishing?
They caught 200 pounds of ice, but drowned when they tried to cook it.

What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.

:D :D :D

Oh, all so true! Giggling here! I like turning things around and seeing how peeps react! mwa mwa xxx

have you noticed how the guys say they can’t find something and when we look for the thing in question it’s behind something that they just couldn’t move to one side? :roll:

Yeah! But, I take the cash out first! :lol:

@wordsworth60 wrote:

@pepsi wrote:

What ! Certy!

Never heard of this …lol

I can wash out 44 pairs of socks and have ’em hangin out on the line
I can starch & iron 2 dozens shirts ‘fore you can count from 1 to 9
I can scoop up a great big dipper full of lard from the drippins can
Throw it in the skillet, go out & do my shopping, be back before it melts in the pan
‘Cause I’m a woman! W-O-M-A-N, I’ll say it again

I can rub & scrub this old house til it’s shinin like a dime
Feed the baby, grease the car, & powder my face at the same time
Get all dressed up, go out and swing til 4 a.m. and then
Lay down at 5, jump up at 6, and start all over again
‘Cause I’m a woman! W-O-M-A-N, I’ll say it again

If you come to me sickly you know I’m gonna make you well
If you come to me all hexed up you know I’m gonna break the spell
If you come to me hungry you know I’m gonna fill you full of grits
If it’s lovin you’re likin, I’ll kiss you and give you the shiverin’ fits
‘Cause I’m a woman! W-O-M-A-N, I’ll say it again

I can stretch! a green black dollar bill from here to kindom come!
I can play the numbers pay the bills and still end up with some!
I got a twenty-dollar gold piece says there ain’t nothing I can’t do
I can make a dress out of a feed bag and I can make a man out of you
‘Cause I’m a woman! W-O-M-A-N, I’ll say it again

:lol:

Damn! Where was you when I were lookin’ cos I ain’t seen no woman like that in my entiah life!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

All the women are like that on the boards words….. its a requirement of the registration process… thought you knew :shock: