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That cosy and tracynumber1 are taking me to the bleeding cleaners.
Well where do i start, had a team meeting, to suggest how to get better clients.
Tracy suggested, a magazine for middle class holiday makers,
Cosy suggested, putting a advert, in the magazine, for ex prisoners.
I left it up to them to sort out.
3 days later, i get a call. guess what milks, we got the moscow state circus staying here, due to our pr campaign.
I should be delighted shouldnt i, why do i get the that feeling somethings not quite right.
Goes round to meet them, the first one is having a pint, and a packet off crisps in the bar, and introduces, himeslf as trevor in a scottish accent.
And hes about 22 stone, strangest russian trapeze artist ive ever saw.
Anyway, 4 cashpoints got blew up in blackpool, last night, got police crawling allover the joint
the russians are long gone, Think the police are going to find my weed any minute, and the russians didnt even leave a note saying they didnt want breakfast.
A cop just asked me if i know a bloke called king of mice.
No i said, but my face went red, and my eyes darted to the floor.
I think he knew i was blagging it.
Thanks again cosy, just ushering the police out the door.
One of his mates turns up trying to sale me 300 quids worth of shower gel.
So with the drunk and disorderly, in a laundrette, which i still maintain was a chip shop,
Im now up, on running a brothel, drugs charges, stolen goods, the body found in room 32, again he was in a coma for 3 weeks, id like to see that 1 stand up in court, they aint pinning that 1 on me, god knows how many other charges.
Christmas dinner in risley beckons, again thanks to my loyal, dedicated staff.
I know, ive brought, honesty, and dignity back to the boards.
Lets hope it lasts, im sure that will be the case.
Dont send me flowers when im dead, send them when im alive.
Back in 1992, me and my mum went to court to support my dad,
I dont want to go into details, but cut a long story short he beat up a bus driver.
Thats not the best bit, it was in bristol town center in at 2pm, in broad daylight.
He made me dress as a tiny tim like character, and my mum as a nun,
In those days, they could read out your previous, i kid you not, that took about 30 minutes,
Not to mention the 20 or so witnesses that had saw the bus driver hit the deck.
So where was i oh yeah, the laundrette,
Flowers on there way! Bounty Hunter delivery service btw
Linda milks lawyer just called he said ” terence has been remanded to HMP Lewes and to google it ”
His prisoner number is prisoner 665432
He is on the threes
Please can you ring the prison to arrange a visit along with sending milky postal orders and scented letters.
Many thanks milks pr advisor!
Dont worry linda, we wont be on the same wing.
Any man, who calls himself tracy thong, will be very busy.
I very much suspect, he wont have any time for visits.
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