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Posts
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now i know i aint aboot much, really because there’s no banter… JC wots happenin…. used to have a rite giraff on ere’ now its mainly moans n groans… i need laffs… come on make me laff… plzzz
A beautiful, sultry Spanish Lady walked up to a Glaswegian guy at a bar.
She said to him “My name is Carmen, because I simply love Cars and Men. What’s your name”?
He replies seductively………
“Jimmy Boozenfags”.
:wink:
A man walks upto a woman in a bar and says –
Excuse what do you do for a living?
She replies
I am a female impersonator
He replies
That explains the tasche
:D
lol…. ohhhh there good but u could do better lol
A couple have been happily married for years, except for the husbands habit of farting very loudly every morning.The noise wakes his wife and the smell has her gasping for air. Every day she pleads with him to stop but he tells her its only natural. She tells him to see a doctor as one day he’ll blow his guts out.
The years go by and nothing changes. Then one christmas, as she is preparing the turkey and he is asleep, she looks at the bowl of turkey innards, neck liver etc.
She creeps to the bedroom with the bowl pulls back the covers and her snoring hubbys waistband and empties the contents of the bowl into his pants.
Later, she hears her husbands farts, then a scream and footsteps as he runs to the bathroom. The wife cant stop laughing.
Twenty minutes later he emerges, looking pale, ‘ you were right ‘ he said ‘ i did fart my guts out , but with some vaseline and two fingers, i think i got most of them back in’ :wink: :D :D :D :D@pete wrote:
a scouser walks into the job centre says “i’m looking for a job”
“youre in luck” he’s told “we have one here a chauffers job pays £75,000 a year you get to keep the car comes with a house and you get to sleep with the employers beautiful daughter”
“Youre taking the p*ss” replies scouse
“well you f*cking started it” says the advisor:D :D :D :D lmao. *giggles insanely*
A man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says
“See this is the pig i have to sleep with when your not in the mood”His wife lying in the bed says “hunny that isn’t a pig under your arm it’s a sheep”
The husband replies “I wasn’t talking to you”
ok… this might be hard to get at first but try to understand my poor English:
A blonde woman was standing on a street waiting for the traffic lights to so say ‘walk’ so that she could cross the street. Many people came by and naturally waited too. Then the light changed and everyone but the blonde woman started to walk. A man standing behind the blonde woman said:
‘Excuse me miss, but it’s green…’. The blonde woman started to wonder very very hard and finally answered:
‘a frog perhaps’@pete wrote:
a scouser walks into the job centre says “i’m looking for a job”
“youre in luck” he’s told “we have one here a chauffers job pays £75,000 a year you get to keep the car comes with a house and you get to sleep with the employers beautiful daughter”
“Youre taking the p*ss” replies scouse
“well you f*cking started it” says the advisorFunny as fcuk :lol:
lmfao…. at the GUTS 1 lol… mite use that on Mr Wolfie as he’s rank rottern at times lol..
i didnae gets urs Bblue soz lol
here we got the family fortunes DVD game for crimbo and I’ll tell ya.. if they bring that show back i won’t be appearing lol sum of those answers in Poshys post lol i came oot with sum belters in game … atleast i gave then a good giggle lol like… name sumthing that comes in a bunch…. their answer was Carrots… since when did carrots come in bunch.. i get them in a polybag… lol
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