I wandered lonely as a cloud
looking for a public telephone
when I came across a host of golden oldie ramblers
who all seemed to have a mobile phone
so I thought heres my chance
and I politely asked one old crone
can I use that?,she said no
so I smashed her over the head with a traffic cone
which was just conveniently hanging about like
you know this story is true ,there were 50,000 jcers watching,