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As long as I can be the hostess with the most-ess rather than the hostess with the leastess
Yes Kenty, you will be the one and only Hostess with the mostess :) When can you start?
Right away
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Lovely music Sophia thanks xxx How are you getting on with the Cavern Club?
As long as I can be the hostess with the most-ess rather than the hostess with the leastess
Yes Kenty, you will be the one and only Hostess with the mostess :) When can you start?
Right away
There’s nothing quite like an eager woman
Hostess with the Mostess Lady Kent OBE,. Can you do tomorrow night at such short notice, Round Midnight ? can you get some new clobber (top notch not Primark) and send Sophia the bill? and can I try and get anyone in particular for you and mooosey in the VIP Lounge?
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This reply was modified 7 years, 10 months ago by
The Divine Love.
Any one looking for a job ?
More barstaff and hostesses required, apply within !
For the attention of (the divine love) I have Added my personal details. Please look over them and get back to me
PERSONAL DETAILS & ATTRIBUTES
1 Name: Sophia (Sophia is my full, legal name. I have a one-word name.)
2 Marital status: Repeatedly. Children: various.
3 Sex: Occasionally.
4 I am 48 years old but have the facial hair of a 13-year-old.
5 I am 5ft 9in with green eyes and ears of approximately three inches in length.
6 Strengths: Really good at Lego.
7 I am fit as a fiddle with only chronic anxiety and recurring skin complaints on my immediate family’s list of medical conditions. (Cousin has diabetes but maybe not relevant?)
8 I am a marketing superstar with a “never settle for the best” attitude.
9 Most positive attribute: chatty.
10 Responsibility makes me nervous.
11 I am loyal and know when to keep my big trap shut.
12 Strong work ethic, attention to detail, team player, self-motivated, attention to detail.
12 I prefer a fast-paste work environment.
14 I believe in the quote “Who cares wins”.
15 I have an excellent track record, although I’m not a horse.
16 My infectious enthusiasm makes me a vital ass to any company.
17 I am a perfectionist with a keen I for details.
18 Much like the mighty Dyson vacuum cleaner, I am an innovative whirlwind in attractive packaging. It is my calling to be born along the dance floors and into the vip lounges of your company, sucking up every atom of creativity and vision.
19 I offer mediocrity at its best.
20 I’m worth investigating.
REASON FOR LEAVING PREVIOUS JOB1 Having to arrive at a certain hour doesn’t make sense to me.
2 Once again I was made a scapegoat for another person’s mistake.
3 I withered on the publishing vine and hit the bottle.
4 Contract terminated after I was overheard saying: “It would be a blessing to get fired.”
5 I thought the world was about to end.
6 Husband was boss, left me for waitress.
6 They stopped doing chips in the cafeteria.
Last but not least, I can double up for Saturday nights as a bouncer, I can stop the wrong sort women from getting in for example ( Women who look like tiny tim with long unnourished hair and a poker faced, these type are simply desperate women of the night. Those who pass my funky chicken dance test will be allowed into the VIP lounge. We need some good movers to get the punters spending money.
I eagerly await your response. Oh and how much per hour will I be on? Are tips counted? if they are you can piss off and give someone else the job.
All I ask is that you treat me no different than a Queen or princess.-
This reply was modified 7 years, 10 months ago by Sophia.
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This reply was modified 7 years, 10 months ago by Sophia.
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Sophia, Thankyou very much for your informative and charmingly written addition to your CV, I have eagerly awaited it’s arrival. You have the job, welcome aboard. You had been given the job already, but we can start all over again. There’s no rush :)
So, we have a 48 year old perfectionist Liver Bird, 5ft 9 barefoot, with green eyes, and with children. You are a loyal whirlwind in attractive packaging, and fit as a fiddle, and can dance. Wow
sounds like Nerys Divine Hughes. You will be treated as a Goddess by myself and all the staff, but you must always remember I’m the King of the Castle. You will have 2 assistants / skivvys of your choice, you will earn £250 as an hourly rate, with probably the same again in tips, free drinks all night for you and your guests, and your own cocktail taster moosey. Try not to get too smashed, as I will be watching you. Furthermore, you will have, as mentioned perks, full and exclusive use of Divine’s Penthouse Suite in the Dorchester Hotel Mayfair as well as unlimited use of their Health and Beauty Spa, and exclusive use of Divine’s chauffeur driven Bentley Continental. Having to arrive at a certain hour is a thing of the past, come and go as you please. All I ask is you make a friendly chatty hostess, glamour dress for the occasion and do very little except loiter here and there and just be your beautiful bubbly self, and smile loads :)When can you start? and any particular celebrities you’d like to meet in the VIP Lounge? Oh and one more question, I almost forgot, as your husband was a former boss, does that mean you have insider knowledge on how to keep the boss sweet ?
P.S. We do chips in the restuarant
I would like to apply for the job of Cocktail Designer (I made up the title, as well as the role guide). I would recommend combinations of ingredients to optimise colour, taste and mood depending on the customer. For example we could have the Pouting Kev which would be a bittersweet mixture with a rose-coloured hue, or the Galloping Milko with its off-white llama-like colouring. The possibilities are endless…
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This reply was modified 7 years, 10 months ago by
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