Vacancies

Mooosey Baby x
Sorry for the delay. Well, firstly, it’s quite a coincidence you should ask after Idris Elba and Tom Hardy, as they are both local boys, and both their VIP Lounge memberships have been approved during the week. Idris was in with Seal, John Lydon and the Hackney massive on opening night and he was making discreet enquiries to the management about the possibilities of a cocktail sampler, as he was dissatisfied with his cocktails. Hopefully Laine’s imminent employment will sort this little problem.

As for Gerry, unfortunately he had to be ejected by Mr. Milko on opening night due to drunken, lewd and rowdy behaviour as well as trying to fiddle the fruit machines. As you value his presence I’m certain we can overlook this and give him a second chance. However, I was hoping you’d rather ruffle my not so ginger tummy hairs, which are on a much more firm, shapely, muscular, slim and athletic tummy than Gerry’s rather rotund pot belly, but we have no need to squabble over this matter. Apparently Idris likes his tummy hairs ruffled too.

Now we have those few minor discrepancies out of the way, let’s get down to the nitty gritty. Firstly, I must sincerely apologise for Kev’s poor taste in nail varnish colours, but he is a Bermondsey boy and Millwall FC fan so he is to be excused there. As for my choice of colourings, to keep in line with the clubs’s decor, I’d like to propose 50 Shades of pink, aswell as lilac, lavender, burgundy, purple, cherry, burnt cherry and maybe even black. Of course I would’t want to let this small issue spoil a potentially good thing here, so maybe we can have a meeting with a nail consultant at the Dorchester’s Health and Beauty Spa to resolve this very samll matter.

I await your decision with high hopes

• This reply was modified 7 years, 7 months ago by  The Divine Love.

laine1 wrote:

Would like to respectfully apply for a mixologist position if one becomes available. I’m good with people, friendly , always happy, and have experience in cocktail mixing following a course in did in 2004

Laine

It gives me great pleasure to announce a new appointment of Laine, as a new, highly distinguished and valued member of staff here at Divivne’s Jazz Club London W.1. She will be filling the eminent position of Head Cocktail mixer, and mixologist. Her CV was incredibly impressive and it was impossible to overlook her eminency.

It will be a great honour and extremely cherished privilege for all staff here to work alongside such a foremost specialist in her field. Hopefully we can all learn something from her time here with us. We are also in the process, and nearing completion of negotiations, of appointing Laine’s very own Cocktail sampler. An update will follow shortly.

As a perk of your position Laine, You will also have full use of Divine’s Penthouse suite in The Dorchester Hotel Mayfair, and have full use of the chauffeur driven Bentley Continental which was bought from Buckingham Palace last year, and Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II has been personally escorted in on numerous occasions.

Congratulations Laine

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laine1

Without any further ado, it gives me great pleasure to announce the new appointment of Martina as head barmaid here at Divine’s Jazz Club. Martina who hails from a small farming town in the former Czechoslovakia was personally headhunted from the bar at Totteringham Hotspots social club in Stamford Hill London N15, where she became a local legend due to her sevice-minded adroitness at making kosher salt beef bagels and sandwiches. Despite the fact she is in her 70’s, she maintains all the glamour of a lady half her age, which is thoroughly in line with Divine’s Jazz Clubs high profile image. I must say it was no mean feat to tear her away from sunning it up on her yacht in Caribbean. All I can say on that is it speaks volumes about the growing prestigious reputation that Divine’s Jazz Club London W.1 is rapidly growing. I can speak on behalf of all staff at the club that we take this as a great compliment.

However, as the slinky redhead Martina is, I am a little concerned that one of our VIP Lounge members Mr. Tall Dark & Andsome TDA doesn’t try to lure her away from us with his salacious antics to the climes of his spectacular Lancashire countryside farm, where the fabled and exalted farmhand and harvester Cosy is chief cabbage, rather than smoggy and grimey London town. But we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

Congratulations Martina and welcome aboard !

kent f OBE wrote:

As long as I can be the hostess with the most-ess rather than the hostess with the leastess

Yes Kenty, you will be the one and only Hostess with the mostess :) When can you start?