Toilet paper

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are
too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it’s not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion:

‘If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toiletpaper and rub it
between them for a few seconds’

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.

‘How long will this take?’ I asked.

‘They will grow larger over a period of years,’ my husband replies.

I stopped. ‘Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?’

Without missing a beat he says ‘Worked for your *rse, didn’t it?’

He’s still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again
although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.

Stupid, stupid man