" THE WEDDING " Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Cele’o’tape had decided it was a good time to toss her bouquet into the fighting masses.

Merrymoron had caught a glimpse of said bouquet flying through the air, and mistakenly

thought it was some sort of jumbo salad bap. Not wanting to miss out, he charged across the room, chucking women and small children over his shoulder as he went.

Wordsworth50odd casually stuck his foot out.

Merry lost all control.

Knitting_My_Curtains had decided it was time to hit the dancefloor and show off her ‘Disco Inferno’ routine,

Merry knocked her, face down, back into her bathchair,as he hurtled towards the Trestle Table laden with the ‘Greggs Buffet’,

Everyone turned and watched in slow motion, knowing instinctively what was about to occur.

Merry, looking like a zeppelin with a puncture hit the buffet table like a Sperm Whale hitting a paddling pool…face first into AngelBust_Likebuckets humongous home-made Trifle, which he promptly ate without coming up for air.

AngelBust_LikeBuckets wailed !

Cele’o’tape wailed louder !!

Nice_pies_Fem wailed loudest of all !!!!!!

Tuna_mary, who had caught the bouqet, having done a spectacular dive, worthy of Didier Drogba,

said ” right..where are all the men ?” and eyed up Teacosyhat_male, who broke out in a cold sweat.

Knitting_My_Curtains was still face down in the bathchair, displaying her bloomers and waving her legs in the air.

Thick_Slice took pictures.

Blonde stood up, displacing Alkiarse, who fell to the floor and promptly started licking her Brogues, she kicked him away and strode off to powder her nose, slapping VeryImportantPeanut as she went past, who was chatting up a rubber plant in the corner.

Behind the stage curtains, SuboQ had consoled wagner, she had wiped his nose and given him a lolly.

They had decided to change their ‘act’.

Wagner would now become the dummy ‘Lord Charles’, and SuboQ could work him by shoving her hand up his Arsey !! Perfect !!

Though next time he’d use stronger wig glue.

Jokecliff roamed around the room looking for a lady, one who would understand him,

his ‘ahead of his time stylish wardrobe’, his witty repartee, someone who wasnt bothered if you had teeth, someone who was fond of chewing tobacco….. a soulmate.

He glanced across the room, and their eyes met. His heart skipped a beat, his tummy turned over, he broke wind.

Behind him SoonMadcow hit the deck like a sack of spuds.

Jokecliff made his way across the room to the eyes that held his, sure they were crossed, but he’d never been that fussy.

” who are you ? you gorgeous creature…. Where have you been all my life? and do you like my outfit ?”

” Are you Jokecliff ? oh gosh !! I had no idea you were so handso….so hand….so erm so up my street…hun !!”

Jokecliff smiled his ‘tombstony’ smile, and took their hands in his.

” My Delux motorhome is just outside, lets go were we can be alone and compare peircings…”

And with that Jokecliff and TheDelusionalMrNoNob climbed into Hettie and closed the moth eaten curtains….

Coach_driver came back in the village hall, and started to try and round up all the inmates.

It was time to head back to Pyschoville….

To be continued…..