"THE WEDDING" Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The old charabanc bounced along on its way to Newcastle.

All the inmates, with the exception of Thick_Slice, who was trying to slide his greased hand up Looby_need_the_loo’s leg,

were singing ” Ging Gang Goolie Goolie Goolie Goolie Watcha …. Ging Gang Gooo, Ging Gang Gooo “

Clare_Dont_Dare_me shouted ” I loved my b/f’s goolies, he still txts me, he’s in Peru now,

but he’s coming to visit me tomorrow … hic …lol “

Teacosyhat_male sat wearing a traffic cone on his head and glaring at the back of Thick_slices head.

They were almost as their destination when Coach_Drivers mobile started ringing.

” Get that for me blonde would you, its in my front pocket”

Blonde who had been sitting up front, and commenting on mens terrible driving habits, looked distastefully at

coach_drivers trousers, took a deep breath, and stuck her hand in to retrieve his mobile. Coach_Driver grinned.

” bit deeper, theres a love … “

Blonde whipped out the mobile and answered it.

It was Angelbust_likebuckets, and she was frantic !!!

” Hello, is that you Blonde ? oh thank god !! Theres been a catastrophe !!

The freezer broke down and all the Iceland nibbles for the reception have thawed out !!!

Be a love and ask Coach_Driver to make a detour to Greggs, pick up 50 sausage rolls,

50 pasties and what ever else you think !!”

” well that will keep merrymoron quiet, what about the rest of us ?”

” ok well double it then … gotta rush, cele’o’tapes all a dither and the Vicar’s pished “

“we’ve got to nip to Greggs for Angelbust_likebuckets, take the next left ! “

PennyForAGuy, resplendant in pink chiffon and a Barbara Cartland style wig, said ” I’m not eating anything from Greggs!!!,

good job ive brought my own M&S nibbles in my rhinestone encrusted handbag “

” ooooo shaarurrpppp ya daft coooont ” called Mad_Divint_Fook_Aboot.

PennyForAGuy tutted.

Behaving_likeaPcycho was just coming out of his stupor and muttering ‘arolllllllddddd,

so quick as a flash, QueenB_ofOrange jabbed an enormous syringe of sedatives in his leg,

she then wandered back to her seat, and accidently ( wink ) jabbed CherrypiesXXXL as well !!!

“2 birds one dose” she muttered.

The Chara arrived at the Church Hall and the inmates started to disembark.

Wordsworth50odd and veryImportantPeanut went to help merrymoron out of the trailer,

were he sat chewing on a small water buffalo he had packed for the journey.

Jokecliff, Alkiarse and Quirky_stench, also known as ‘The 2 and 1/2 Wise Monkeys’ were also

making their way to the wedding in Hettie. Jokecliff was decked out in white lace in a bid to outshine the bride.

” Will Blonde be there Jokecliff ? ” said Alkiarse

” I expect so …Why do you keep asking that ? Ive already told you 3 times ! “

Alkiarse had a little mishap in his crusty Y fronts.

” I’m just popping in the back , I err need to err change…. again … “

To be continued ……