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Well as you all know, Joker and I spent three years together. It was a mad passionate affair. Mad because I could never find his false teeth. Even more madder because I could never find “it.”
“It” being Joker’s penis. I tried and tried and looked and looked and even bought in search dogs.
They needed a scent. So I gave them his urine stained under garments. I even gave them his DNA from his, old, long dead mother.
There was no sign of Joker’s penis. I was upset. There I was, in his bedsit looking lovingly at his urine stained crotch wanting and waiting for his member to rise.
And then I remembered. I’m a Panda – even we don’t breed with 200 year old turnips with fooking gums galore.
Its True I confess Panda and I had 3 years of sexless passion. Much as I tried I could never rise to the occasion, we tried every concoction on the market Viagra, Calias, Oysters, hours of foreplay all to no avail. We discussed the antics of thick slice but this only angered me as I so much wanted to be like him but without the rash and the weekly visits to the clinic. Then one day Joker come up with an idea, an idea that would allow them to cement their relationship (watch out for the pun re cement later). They both grew increasingly impatient to try the idea which Joker refused to tell Panda but as it was Sunday he was unable to secure the required requisites to pursue their intimacy. Despairingly frustrated they slept in each others arms that night eagerly awaiting the dawn and what promised to be a memorable day ahead.
Monday Morning arrived both Panda and the Old Turnip were exuberant that they would finally “Get it On” She padded around like a black & white minstrel during a variety performance while the old turnip calmly reversed his underpants to give his genitalia a breather from the acrid stench. “Right I’m off to get the bits “he called to his hearts desire ” I won’t be long so get out of those monochrome PJs and be ready”..
Joker strode through the gap where a door had once been and kicked his Vespa into life.
Through the clouds of black smoke and the smell of burning oil Panda saw her man riding off into the morning mist.4 Hours Later Joker returned beaming and sporting a large protuberance from his crotch The excitement on Panda’s face brought a tear to his glass eye, his gums broke into a grin as he’d neglected to use the Chinese teeth Panda had got for him from a car boot sale.
He moved to the bed and Panda eagerly joined him knowing she was finally going to get what her body ached for. They lay together , well almost – Joker was a big lad, and she looked adoringly into his good eye “Joker my darling how did you do it ” she purred, stroking his manliness with eagerness. “Well” said Joker Cockily (Pun intended) I was reading the Wickes brochure so I put two shovels of sand and 1 of quick drying cement down me japs eye”.
The Moral of this story is simple _ Never despair always stand proud for the love in your life.!!!!Well, this thread was intended to lure in Minnie Mouse and Maria and get them jumping up and down shouting, “I told you so! I told you so!”
You see, a few weeks ago, they had decided that Joker and I must be lovers as we had the audacity to chat in a chat room!
But nothing. Thread has got 246 views. Not a dicky bird from either Minnie Mouse or Maria or anybody else other than Joker continuing the obvious p1sh take.
Then! All of a sudden, two weeks later, thin posts this!
https://www.justchat.co.uk/boards/viewtopic.php?t=25889&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0
Of couse, he had to put his own spin on it, making out it was exclusive info straight from The Turnip’s mouth.
Well, well. I never knew thin was such a gullible fool. Just goes to show you there’s no fool like an old fool.
Seems thin isn’t the font of all knowledge he likes to think he is.
LOL
*waits for the reply from thin along the lines of “I wondered how long it would take you to pick up on that.”
i wondered how long before you would pick up on that :shock:
Panda, you are deluded to say the least. Joker may be playing along with your “admission to pretence” game but he tells people things. Like it or not, if anyone has information about you and him it would have come from him. I myself have heard, third party of course, so he is a liar you have proved it. 8)
Thanks :wink:@chameleon wrote:
Panda, you are deluded to say the least. Joker may be playing along with your “admission to pretence” game but he tells people things. Like it or not, if anyone has information about you and him it would have come from him. I myself have heard, third party of course, so he is a liar you have proved it. 8)
Thanks :wink:Yeah, ok, mate.
@chameleon wrote:
Panda, you are deluded to say the least. Joker may be playing along with your “admission to pretence” game but he tells people things. Like it or not, if anyone has information about you and him it would have come from him. I myself have heard, third party of course, so he is a liar you have proved it. 8)
Thanks :wink:Why do so many claim to know the truth yet always fail to prove it. Speculation is a wonderful thing but the Truth looks better. Now heres your big chane to Shine , you have my permission to post pictures factual dates of any liasons I’ve had with Panda or any other creature in JC. As they say up norf jerkoff Put up or Shut up.
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