The Real World of JC the following day ..

Dawn was just breaking on a crisp November day in the real world of JC. Asiannastymale woke up to a muffled world. He tried screaming at his mother as he did every morning but nothing happened, he tried again, still nothing. How could this be, all his life he had insulted women starting with his mother and now he had been silenced!

He threw back his nylon comforter, slipped his flip flops on and padded to his custom made mirror, which had been engraved with the words “YOU ARE A GOD AND ALL WOMEN ARE THERE FOR YOU TO ABUSE” in bright lucky red writing. He still had on his pure white Pakistani cotton baby grow from Primark that his mother had dressed him in the night before but when he looked up at his head, he no longer recognised himself…. He thought “Holy Father of Sufism, I have been turned into a worm.”

Miss Rose had not only gagged Asiannastymale with a gimp mask, she had super glued it to his head, and put a padlock on the zip. Miss Rose, always the practical one, wasn’t taking any chances with this one. She did however, have a heart and had stuck a bright red glittery nose on his now, faceless face.

Asiannastymale ran downstairs looking for his mother who was in the kitchen reading another letter of complaint from the real world of JC, when she looked up she was not surprised to see that her useless son now looked like an imbecile, as she had been quite happy to assist the nice Miss Rose with his gagging order. Always prepared to look on the bright side, she had thought of all the peace she would now have and the money she would have spare, taking into account that her useless son could no longer sit at his computer all day stuffing pakoras, Shahi Tukray and Gajar Ka Halwa all washed down with 47 litres of white lightening. No, this was one of the best days of her life, she had even added her own touch, embroidering all of his XXXXXXL t shirts with the words “Ride me like a Yak” in Urdu. Better still, she had been invited to Miss Rose’s house for cocktails at 6 that evening.

Miss Rose was busy counting her gimp masks, they did look very festive now, even if she did say so herself. There did appear to be one missing, which bothered her slightly but not enough for her to stop decorating her muffins with silver balls and imported reindeer droppings from Sweden. She was looking forward to her party tonight, she had even persuaded CathBarcardi55 to come with her tarot cards. The old bird phoenix would be there too flapping around with her energy crushing crystals and Fairy wish wands which Miss Rose suspected were “women’s playthings” but didn’t like to question Phoenix, in case she was tempted to purchase one for every day of the week.

Blonde Bolton Bomber was stuck in a corner of the real world of JC with MadMax. For the last 45 minutes he had been telling her all about his relatives who had been to an NHS hospital and died. He was now telling anyone who listened, that he was going to buy a Tiara for the Bolton bomber, to replace her tin hat that MinnieClaireMouse had used as a glass and wasn’t giving it back because he held 14 litres of wine. MadMax was trying to get close enough to Bomber’s head to measure it with a piece of rope he had in his pocket. The Bomber being understandably nervous of any men from the real world of JC, coming anywhere near her head with a rope, was bobbing up and down pretending to straighten her kneecaps every time he tried to get close.

Woodie had made an appointment to see President Lucy of Eire. If he was taking part in the Nativity play this year, he was not going to be a chicken again. He had never made it to the stable scene, despite having spent hours practising his strut. He had instead, been chased down the High Street for several hours by drunken party goers thinking he was giving away “FokyTuckyFriedChicken.” So, he had spent the night at his sewing machine making an elf outfit but once he had tried it on and looked in the mirror he became aware of looking more like a Leprechaun and needed her stamp of approval to wear it in the Nativity play and be the narrator.
:twisted: