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I’m sure we have all at one time or another, plotted the perfect murder concerning those whose transgressions against us have been sufficient to boil the blood and plant imagery of avenging guns. knives and chainsaws in our seething brains.
So..if you could get clean away with it..who would you like to do away with (fellow JCers? so-called celebrities? The mother-in-law?)..and just how would you go about it?I’m gonna start with the entire panel, crew and contestants of The X-Factor. Bludgeoned about their make-overed heads with sockfuls of diahorrea as wielded by a gang of terrorist chimpanzees.
They’ll never trace it back to me.
Oh..and two sockfuls of shyte for Simon Cowell please..there’s an extra banana in it for yas. So to speak. :twisted:/breathes all kinda heavy in excitement …… did someone mention Mother in laws ..:)
get back to ye on this one Esme..
@esmeralda wrote:
I’m sure we have all at one time or another, plotted the perfect murder . :twisted:
no :shock:
But doing it your way made me smile! :lol:
@rubyred wrote:
/breathes all kinda heavy in excitement …… did someone mention Mother in laws ..:)
get back to ye on this one Esme..
*Sends Ella a warning in semaphore* :P
@esmeralda wrote:
@rubyred wrote:
/breathes all kinda heavy in excitement …… did someone mention Mother in laws ..:)
get back to ye on this one Esme..
*Sends Ella a warning in semaphore* :P
oh dont please, she would miss read it and assume it was part of the conspiracy theory ! her latest one is neighbours putting oil down their sinks !!! and its bubbling up her loo !
@rubyred wrote:
@esmeralda wrote:
@rubyred wrote:
/breathes all kinda heavy in excitement …… did someone mention Mother in laws ..:)
get back to ye on this one Esme..
*Sends Ella a warning in semaphore* :P
oh dont please, she would miss read it and assume it was part of the conspiracy theory ! her latest one is neighbours putting oil down their sinks !!! and its bubbling up her loo !
I got as far as “Don’t accept the proffered asp in a basket..” then my left arm got a dose of the cramps.
Thing is..I may have confused ‘asp’ for ‘chicken-in-a’hows yer skills for taxi- driver small talk ! can see ye in yer bunnet now..
@rubyred wrote:
hows yer skills for taxi- driver small talk ! can ye see in yer bunnet now..
I had that Howard from the Halifax in the back of me cab once. He’s not actually black y’know..he doesn’t wear glasses and his name’s not Howard either.
Kept insisting he was Mrs.Pilbeam of 1 The Cloisters, Stoke Newington.
I knew his game..
but i still took a shag instead of the fare… :roll:You talkin’ to ME?
@esmeralda wrote:
@rubyred wrote:
hows yer skills for taxi- driver small talk ! can ye see in yer bunnet now..
I had that Howard from the Halifax in the back of me cab once. He’s not actually black y’know..he doesn’t wear glasses and his name’s not Howard either.
Kept insisting he was Mrs.Pilbeam of 1 The Cloisters, Stoke Newington.
I knew his game..
but i still took a shag instead of the fare… :roll:passed with flying colours !!! yer getting Taxi driver o the month for that!
ya managed to insult someone, get in their colour,make a slur on their character and GET in sex.. ! now can ye take a fare on Sunday about 2.30 pm :)
p.s rosary beads dangling from yer mirror would be a nice touch !
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