The Penis

The Penis!!!
> I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
>reasons:
>1. I do physical labor.
>2. I work at great depths.
>3. I plunge head first into everything I do.
>4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
>5. I work in a damp environment.
>6. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
>7. I work in high temperatures.
>8. My work exposes me to diseases.
>
>Dear Penis, After assessing your request, and considering the
>arguments you have raised, the management denies your request for the
>following reasons:
>1. You do not work 8 hours straight.
>2. You work in short spurts and fall asleep after each brief work period.
>3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
>4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen
>visiting other locations.
>5. You do not take initiative – you need to be pressured and
>stimulated in order to start working.
>6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your
>shift.(Especially if a “Sherbert Dab” has been used – eh bernie)
>7. You don’t always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing
>the correct protective clothing.
>8. You will retire long before you are 65.
>9. You are unable to work double shifts.
>10. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed
>the assigned task.
>11. You have constantly been seen entering and exiting the workplace
>carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
>Sincerely, The Management
>**********************************
>**********************
>***********
>PLUS: 5 reasons not to be a penis…
>1. You’re bald your whole life.
>2. You have a hole in your head.
>3. Your neighbors are nuts.
>4. The guy behind you is an ass hole and 5.
>Every time you get excited, you throw up and then faint