The loose moose still lives !!!

The Agenda had only one item …. to discuss and comment on my general incompetence and in particular my failure to ‘dispatch’ Gwenny.

I refer to it as a ”meeting” buy in truth it was more like a Kangaroo court. The accused (me) had already been found guilty and it only remained to listen politely to my defence; dismiss it out of hand as both irrelevant and yet another example of my failure to dispose of Gwenny; and then pass a motion of censure.

If I thought that I might get some support from daughter (in return for chocolates and so on) …… forget it. She sat there like Madame Lafarge – waiting for my head to drop into the basket.

The problem is that Gwenny has totally and utterly vanished – but in the absence of a dead body, all my protestations of success fell on deaf ears. I was left with the not very convincing explanation that I was sure that the fox had scoffed her or worse still …. the neighbour’s bloody feral cat had killed her.

It was to no avail. I was convicted of spending money unnecessarily on mouse traps; purchasing expensive organic crunchy peanut butter and chocolate spread for no discernible purpose; and generally causing considerable alarm and distress with my unsupportive attitude. (THAT’LL teach me to laugh in the wrong places).

My punishment is to re-decorate the kitchen; re-decorate the hall; hurry up and finish the outside windows (“you’re taking FAR too long to finish a simple job”); and generally behave myself when her back is turned.