" THE HONEYMOON" Chapter 1

The Honeymoon

” Ladies and Gentlemen * clears throat*… This is your pilot speaking, we all currently

flying at an altitude of 35,000 ft and will shortly start making our descent.

I hope you have all enjoyed your flight, please check you have collected together any hand luggage before you disembark, and have a nice holiday.

Thankyou for flying ‘Lyin’Air’.”

The Chatters were all off on their annual holiday to Torremolinos !!! Ole !!!

Mad_divint_Fook_Aboot was already wearing her itsy bitsy yellow polkadot bikini on the plane, even tho it had been raining and chilly in England, she wasnt going to miss out on one ray of sunshine, she was, as it happened, already a fairly dark shade of teak,

VeryImportantPeanut was fairly sure he’d spotted her ‘Fannyy the wonder dog’ on more than one occasion, and wondered whether he should report her for smuggling the hairy thing, without its own passport.

Clare_Dont_Dare_Me had managed to snaffle everybodies complimentary miniatures, stuffed them down her knickers, and was clanking her way back to her seat.

Bornfree_2_poo Was in the toilet.

Nice_pies_fem was feeling very frivolous in her orange and lime green, Laura Ashley sun dress and matching sun hat, whispers of ‘fruit salad’ she ignored, and hoped Ugly_asa_Moose was ok in the Cargo Hold!!

Customs was a blast, to say other commuters were agog would be an understatement.

Jokecliff and The DelusionalMrNoNob dressed in Hinge & Brackett style frocks and matching Bonnets, claimed the backseat of the coach that would ferry them all to the resort,were they continued smooching.
” Why do birds suddenly appear…. everytime, you are near….”Crooned TheDelusionalMrNoNob down Jokecliffs wax filled, hairy, lug ‘oles.

From the balcony of the 1 star Hotel he and Cele’o’tape were honeymooning in, JimmyOhMyGodWhatHaveIdone watched the coach pull up, it took only seconds for him to recognise the mottley crew who got off it.He sucked in air so hard, the lemon in his bottle of ‘Sol’ shot to the back of his throat and he was gasping for air.

cele’O’Tape, who had just awoken from an afternoon siesta grabbed Jimmy’s portable oxygen cylinder and rushed to her new husbands side. He was shaking his head and pointing to the odd looking group gathering on the hotel steps.
” oh my effing god !! How did they know we were here ? Shyte !! “

Thick_Slice had donned his speedo’s, complete with plastic budgie stuffed down them, and was parading round the pool, tryin to look cool,unfortunately he had inadvertantly left his socks on.

Coach_Driver, who had swapped his ‘ on the buses ‘ style peaked hat, for a pith helmet, (he’d never been abroad before), was very impressed with Blondes new holiday ‘look’. Gone were the tweeds and brogues, replaced by 6inch heeled ‘fuk me’ shoes, tight, white shorts and a boob tube. Blonde passed him a tissue as she sasheyed past him on her way to the bar.

In the lobby of the hotel CherrypiesXXXL was staring at a poster on the wall, the picture looked vaguely familiar,

**LordLouisSpenceCharles & SuboQ appearing here everynight in the Lizard Lounge, 9pm.**

And there was Wagner ( now the dummy Lord Charles ) in a new Thunderbird wig sat on SuboQ’s large lap, like a little Chiwawa.

It was going to be an interesting week…..

To be continued……