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  • 9 October, 2008 at 10:31 am #11838

    Dibbs

    The future of nursery rhyme

    Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
    Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
    The structure of the wall was incorrect
    So he won a grand with Claims Direct.

    It’s Raining, It’s Pouring
    Oh sh!t, it’s Global Warming.

    Jack and Jill went into town
    To fetch some chips and sweeties.
    He can’t keep his heart rate down
    And she’s got diabetes.

    Mary had a little lamb
    Her father shot it dead.
    Now it goes to school with her
    Between two chunks of bread.

    Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
    Said Simple Simon to the pie man
    ‘What have you got there?’
    Said the pie man unto Simon
    ‘Pies you dumb arse!’

    Mary had a little lamb
    It ran into a pylon.
    10,000 volts went up its @rse
    And turned its wool to nylon.

    Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
    Kissed the girls and made them cry.
    When the boys came out to play
    He kissed them too cause he was gay.

    Jack and Jill
    Went up the hill
    To have a little fun.
    Jill, the dill,
    Forgot her pill,
    And now they have a son.

    Jack and Jill
    Went up the hill
    And planned to do some kissing.
    Jack made a pass
    And grabbed her ass
    Now two of his teeth are missing.

    Mary had a little lamb
    Its fleece was white and wispy.
    Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
    And now it’s black and crispy.

    9 October, 2008 at 11:58 am #379497

    Esmeralda

    “Mary had a little lamb
    It ran into a pylon.
    10,000 volts went up its @rse
    And turned its wool to nylon. “

    Tee hee hee Dibb’s..I howled out loud at that one^..and me an animal lover too!

    9 October, 2008 at 5:28 pm #379498

    tinks

    now they made me really laff =D>

    xxx

    9 October, 2008 at 5:35 pm #379499

    Pete

    Mary had a little lamb
    by god it was a good un
    it piddled in the frying pan
    and made a yorkshire pudding

    Mary had a little lamb
    her father shot the shepherd

    9 October, 2008 at 5:47 pm #379500

    Esmeralda

    Mary had a little lamb
    she called it Baby Buntin’
    she took the lamb to school one day..
    It kicked the teacher’s c**t in!

    9 October, 2008 at 5:50 pm #379501

    wishfairy

    i can just picture all the little uns in the playschool singing these, pmsl

    9 October, 2008 at 6:22 pm #379502

    Pete

    Little Jack Horner sat in the corner
    Eating an apple pie
    He put in his thumb
    And pulled out a plum
    And said what the f*ck is a plum doing in an apple pie

    12 October, 2008 at 12:57 pm #379503

    WooHoo

    Lilttle Miss Muffet, sat on her Tuffet,
    smoking an ounce of weed!
    Along came a spider, and sat down beside her,
    and dealt her a kilo of speed.. :?

    12 October, 2008 at 5:01 pm #379504

    Pete

    Jack and Jill went up the hill
    so Jack could lick Jill’s f*nny.
    Jack got a shock
    and a mouthful of c*ck
    cos Jill’s a f*ckin tranny.

    12 October, 2008 at 5:02 pm #379505

    Pete

    Spider, spider on the wall.
    Ain’t you got no sense at all?
    Can’t you see the walls been plastered?
    Now you’re stuck you silly b*stard

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