THE CHRISTMAS PARTY part 2

Chatters were still arriving at the JC Christmas party, thick and fast…

Wordsworth50Odd sauntered in looking very dapper in a dark red velevt jacket and silk cravat, his freshly waxed mustache twitched, sensing the warm sensual aroma of slightly moist female flesh…. he raised an eyebrow, in a rak-ish manner and sat down with a liqueur to enjoy the backview of the ladies riverdance…

” Mmmmm… bouncy balloons smeared with lotion,….peaches ripening under a tropical sun ,.. water balloons,… the egg and spoon race,….uncooked lumps of dough rising in a hot oven …round boucing lumps of love..dumplings simmering in a home made…….”

SLAP!!!!!! ”
” calm down words, for goodness sake, you’ll have an episode” said Blonde, who was sipping a cocktail and twirling a long strand of pearls.
” before you know it you’ll have SarahPainzzz calling you an ignorant greeny, or whatever it was”

” Oh Blonde, you look ravishing tonight, would you make an old man very happy ? ”

” if its a mince pie your after, Words, forget it. Im going nowhere near that buffet table, Merrymoron is sat guarding it, like Jabba The Hut with P.M.T !!! ”

Nice_Pies_fem and Moosey were on the dance floor doing ‘The Bump’, unfortunately, Ugly_asa_moose got a little over enthusiastic and sent Nic_pies flying off like an exocet missile with frills.

Jimmy_Ill_Wop_you sky dived off the christmas tree to save the airborn Nice.

” Tis I, ‘The Willy from Philly’ I will save you, once when i was collecting rock specimens on Jupiter for N.A.S.A, an alien tried to suck out my blood with his extra digit, I wacked him with my toffee hammer on his todger and he ran off crying, like Jokecliffe will when i confront him in his bedsit… and I will drag his top lip back over his head and sew it to his anus.”

V.I.P was trying to impress Jim_Babe on the dance floor with his ‘Disco Inferno’ routine…..

” I say Jim old bean, fancuy pooping into my box and shjowing me some pushhups and styuff ? Ive a Muscle that needs working on badleyy”

Jim_Babe glanced at the door and shouted ” Run !!!”

Tuna_mary_ann_mary_jane_tina_doris_edna_Gladys stomped into the room, looking like a bulldog chewing a wasp. She was not happy !!

Thick_slice, watching this on camera, felt his bottom twitch with nerves, he had’nt forgotten waking up after a drunken night with aforementioned Bulldog in a hotel room in Torremolinos…He shivered and turned his attention back to camera 3,,,,,,, where Eddie_The_Wimp had by now completely disappeared down Jadeys cleavage and only his little feet could be seen poking out the neckline.
Jadey twitched and giggled,, ” thats not choccie cake” she tittered.

The Dance floor was filling up.
Poor Blonde had to drag Alkiarse around as she danced, as he had clung to her foot, desparately trying to get a glimpse of the promised land.

Knitting_My_Curtains was doing wheelies in her bathchair,
TinkleTits was piroetting infront of Neil_GizaFeel, who now fancied himself in love.

Penny_4AGuy had draped herself over a barstool, trying to look seductive, tiarra slightly askew and one bra strap hanging down…..
she glanced at the door every 20 seconds waiting for her secret admirer to arrive, unless of course he was already here, she could never quite be sure, on account of him being secret and all that, innit !!
She felt eyes upon her, it sent a shiver down her spine, she looked around in anticipation, and her gaze slammed into that of Tea_Cosy_Male, who was actually eyeing up her Tiara with a view to pawn it for some christmas booze.
” Oh how bloody disappointing” muttered Penny, downing her pint of Old Peculiar in one, and she headed off to the Loo’s, passing Welchy_The_Grape on her way out.
Penny4AGuy thought about pointing out that Welchy had a trail of toilet roll hanging out the bottom of her frock, but decided against it.

Clare_Dont_Dare_Me had given up trying to stay upright and was sat in a corner, trying to txt her cardboard cut-out Boyfriend using the TV Remote.

RosePedalBin, Trouble_At_Mill, Shy_Fem and Pies_On_Fire were sat in a line on the dance floor doing the Gap Band Dance.

”ooops up side ya head…i said..ooops upside ya head ”

Mids_Seeks_Rose got so hot and excited his turban wilted.

In the corner eve_rething.etc.etc had pinned Jokecliff to the wall.

She ignored the fact that his face was covered by his oxygen mask, infact, it helped a lot.

she worked and worked at it untill she had sweat stains the size of Lake Erie under her armpits….

But, no matter how hard she pulled……and pulled…. and pulled….

There was just NO WAY she was EVER going to get a BANG out of that CRACKER !!!!