The Christmas Party

” Deck the halls with boughs of holly……Fa la la la laaaaaaa la la la laaaaaaaa…….” bellowed Nice_pies_fem, as she sat on Ugly_asa_moose’s back sticking garlands and tinsel
up in the lobby. The pair had been entrusted to decorate ‘The room’ in readiness for the JC christmas Party.

” left a bit moooosey….hic….” said Nice, taking a swift swig of Harveys Bristol Cream..’ ”just one more set of twinklies and we’ll be done”

Ugly_asa_moose groaned under the weight and staggered left.

92 miles of tinsel and 154 sets of fairy lights later, the lobby was transformed into a blurr of glitter and lights. It looked as if it had been decorated by chimpanzee’s on acid, but cheery it was.

As they left the lobby to go and get ready for the party, a furtive Thick_slice sneaked in. A Man with a plan was he .An hour later Thick smirked and made his way out.

Hidden camera’s had been placed around the lobby, if anybody got up to any ‘naughties’ he would be the 1st to know about it and even if it didnt happen with a bit of twisting he could make it appear that it had !!!
Happy was Thick as he applied his Grecian 2000 and doused himself with Old Spice … he may even have time to pick up an old trout from his favourite site, Badooo . com before the party, there were no decent lookers, but at least they were desparate.

In his bedsit Jokecliffe was adding the finishing touches to his outfit. He had plucked his grey wirey nostril hair, put on his crotch support tights, scraped off 3 weeks worth of food off his dentures and was slipping into his satin jumpsuit which he had bought at oxfam in 1974, he had more rolls than Greggs, but he managed to pull the straining zip up.

Jokecliffe was undecided whether to attend the party as his normal chatname or not, lately he had’nt been getting the reverence he thought he deserved, infact most people just ignored him. He had tried cloning other chatters, such as Thick_Slice and pm’ing women, he had tried using new names and being witty and funny, all to no avail.

Eve_rything.other.ppl.like.i.dont.just.to.be.different discarded her brown velour tracksuit and squeezed herself into her size 28 Primark jeans, after all, it was a special occasion.

She did hope Jokecliffe would be there, as all the decent women disliked him, maybe she’d have a chance, it was obvious she’d never pull Thick_slice, no matter how hard she tried, so the octogenerian would have to do.

Gradually all the chatters arrived at the party. Helen and J had flown over especially and both looked very chic and glamorous as they air kissed everyone. Helen was resplendant
in a black velvet cocktail dress and J was in a Dinner jacket, complete with impressive Dickie.

TinkleTits had come as a christmas fairy with a masshive tutu, everytime she bent over her bottom looked like a big pink sunflower.

Alkiarse decided not to dress up and came in his normal attire of long black, hooded cloak, ‘Scream’ mask and a sythe.

Thick_Slice checked out his hidden camera’s from his horse box.

Camera 1 caught Jimmy_I’ll_Wop_you in the Gents, licking his eyebrows and making sure he had easy access to his Magnum 44 and baseball bat, which were stuffed down his trousers.

Camera 2 saw Claire_dontDare_Me and Mariapizzeria tipping a bottle of vodka into the fruit punch.

camera 3 caught Eddie_the_Wimp licking cake crumbs from Jade_The_Blades ample cleavage behind the christmas tree.

Very_important_peanut came in with presents for most…. and blew kisses at the ladies, blinding some with his highly polished dome.

Eve.ery.thing.other.ppl.like.i.dont.to.be.different stage whispered ”oh god, heres no neck”

V.I.P suddenly grew a pair and replied ” I dont think you have any room to criticise what others look like, and you should be done under The Trades descriptions Act, Betty Boo ?Ha , more like Baloo the Bear, now F O, Iggied ! ”

Lonnie_The _Wig minced in coooooeeeeeee’ing ppl like a dwarf, Dame Edna Everage, closely followed by his own, personal Medical Team, carrying buckets and wearing wellies.

Trouble_At_Mill, Shylock_F, Rosepedalbin and Penny_4aguy were doing their own interpretation of Riverdance, Rose was struggling a bit because irish dancing isn’t easy
in scholls.
The Woodster was sipping a glass of red and watching the ladies performing, smiling at the mexican wave of voluptuous breasts undulating before him.

Hello came and left the party as various names, depending on her schizophrenia.

Everyone was par-taking of the spiked fruit punch and soon the party was in full swing, even Jokecliffe, having borrowed Lonnie_The_Wigs platform boots.had stuffed a christmas cracker down his catsuit and was strutting around singing ” If you want my body…. and you think I’m sexy… come on baby let me know……”, closely followed by alkiarse carrying his portable oxygen cylinder for him.

Yes…. things were hotting up……