Splice and a Slice

The plane touched down at Heathrow on an excessively hot day…

Huge(door)Knob cleared customs and made his way to the arrivals lounge,

looking cool in his dungaree’s, shirtless , with his banjo slung over his

shoulder.

” coooooeeeeeeee Huge knob, over here ” Nice_Pies_Female bellowed and waved

her meaty arms.

Huge jogged over and gave Nice_Pies a massive hug till she went a lovely shade of

duck egg blue.

” where’s Ugly_as_a_Moose Nicey? I thought you were both picking me up”

”Oh she’s in the car park, did’nt have time to untie her and get her off the roof rack, come

on, its such an exciting day, I love a wedding !! ”

Huge tucked Nice up under his arm and they made their way to the multi-story car park, to

find Ugly_as_a_Moose howling as a group of young teenagers threw cold McDonalds chips at

her and yelled ‘Hairy Arse’.

” get away you vile children, away with you” yelled Nice_Pies

Huge Knob spat his gum out at 55 mph catching a pimply faced youth smack in the eye.

” Yo Moosey ” Huge slapped moose’s hairy rump affectionately and squeezed his massive

shoulders into Nice_pies Fiat Panda.

” Come on, we’ve got a wedding to go to ” urged Nice_pies, ” I do hope theres lots of cake”

Somewhere down South, Jade_the_Blade eyed her wedding day outfit in the mirror.

” how do i look Born2poo ? ”

” You look lovely and cuddly Jadey and its very errr different ”

Jade_the_Blade looked again at the pink, fur trimmed onsie she had chosen to wear for the

Big Day.

” i think you’re right Born, but, foook me, I’m sweating like a Sumo wrestler on speed”

” brb ” said born, ” I need a poo ”

Jade_the_Blade and Filterchat were very much in love and had been close since Jade_the

_Blade had saved Filterchat from the evil clutches of chele, also known as Womb_at.

Guests had started arriving at the venue, BlondeBombshell was wearing a lovely Laura Ashley

sundress but could feel a trickle of moisture thread its way down her new and very

expensive bosoms. She wafted herself with a hand painted Chinese fan. ” I do wish they’d

hurry up , the smell of all these sweaty prawn rings is making me quite nauseous ”

Joker, having heard that Huge(door)Knob had been invited booked a spur of the moment

holiday to Madagascar.

Funny That ….

ManTan Tracy had slathered on extra max factor orange face make-up and’ windowlene’d ‘her

large, thick, spectacles.

Knitting_my_curtains was cooking in her knitted twin set and pearls, so flustered was she

that she accidently knocked her mobility scooter into reverse and ran over Mcfc4fs who was

trying to climb up onto a bar stool, which was a foot taller than himself.

Princess Kenty was furious, her invite to the wedding seemed to have been lost in cyberspace

and she’d de-fuzzed her top lip and nipples especially…. it still stung, thin saying it was ”like

sucking on a coconut”.

She made her way into JC seeking solace in the less popular men, well she

knewTainted_Heart would’nt be in, as he was taking his boring wife to B&Q and a local car

boot sale , in search of even more Capodimonte figurines.

” Buster sweety mwahhhhhh xxxx lovely to see you !! ” she really thought he was a pervy old

bastid, but harmless.

ChatGuide Nipple Stiffener watched her entrance and let out a long loud trump, all she

needed now was TaffyTuckshop and it would be like watching Miss Piggy and Cruella De Ville

having a bun fight.

on…..off…..on…..off…..on …… off ….. and back to catching up with Thick Slices pm’s

”interesting….. lol”

Filterchat, looking like an elongated Pingu, and Jade_the_Blade arrived at the Reception

looking Happy and Hot.

ManTan_Tracy burst out laughing and shouted ” foook me Jade, ya look like an uncooked

Ricmond pork sausage love !! ”

” shut it you and get some tunes on !! ”

Lets Partyyyyyyy

RosePedalbin checked the text on her phone and laughed in delight… mwuh haha haha haha….

and she too waited for…

the next instalment….

To Be Continued…..