Southern Women From USA

Humidity
Humidity
Humidity

Southern
Women know their vacation spots:

The beach
The
Rivuh
The crick

Southern women know everybody’s
First name:
Honey
Darlin’
Shugah

Southern
Women know the movies that speak to their
Hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss
Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The
Wind
Southern women know their
Religions:

Baptist
Methodist
Football

Southern
Women know their cities dripping with Southern
Charm:
Chawl’stn

S’vanah
Foat
Wuth
N’awlins
Addlanna

Southern women know their
Elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform
Men in
Tuxedos
Rhett Butler

Southern girls know their prime
Real estate:
The Mall
The Country Club
The Beauty
Salon

Southern girls know the 3 deadly
Sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad
Manners
Cooking bad food

More Suthen-ism’s:

Only

a Southerner
Knows the difference between a

hissie fit
and a

conniption
Fit
, and
That you don’t “HAVE” them, you “PITCH” them.
_____

Only
A Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
Peas, beans, etc., make up “a mess.”

_____

Only a
Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction
Of

“yonder.”

_____

Only a
Southerner knows exactly how long

“directly”
is, as in: “Going to town,
Be back directly.”
_____

Even Southern babies know that
“Gimme some sugar” is not a request for the white, granular
Sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of
The table.
______All Southerners know
Exactly when

“by and
By”
is.
They might not use the term, but they know the concept
Well.
_____

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that
The best gesture of solace for a neighbor who’s got trouble is a
Plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato
Salad. If the neighbor’s trouble is a real crisis, they
Also know to add a large banana puddin!
_____

Only
Southerners grow up knowing the difference between

“right near”
and

“a right far
Piece.”

They also know that

“just down the
Road”
can
Be 1 mile or 20
_____

Only a Southerner, both knows and
Understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol’ boy, and
po’ white trash.
_____

No true Southerner would ever
Assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually
Going to make a turn.
_____
A Southerner knows
That

“fixin”

can be used as a noun, a
Verb, or an adverb.
_____

Only Southerners make friends
While standing in lines, … And when we’re “in line,”… We talk
To everybody!
_____

Put 100 Southerners in a room and
Half of them will discover they’re related, even if only by
Marriage.
_____

In the South,

y’all
is singular, all
Y’all is plural.
_____

Southerners know grits come
From corn and how to eat them.
_____

Every Southerner
Knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly
Wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that
Fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

_____

When you hear someone say, “Well, I caught myself
Lookin,” you know you are in the presence of a genuine
Southerner!
_____

Only true Southerners
Say

“sweet
Tea”

And

“sweet
Milk.”

Sweet tea
Indicates the need for sugar and lots of it — we do not like our
Tea unsweetened. “Sweet milk” means you don’t want buttermilk.

_____

And a true Southerner knows you don’t scream
Obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway.
You just say,”Bless her heart” … And go your own
Way.
_____

To those of you who are still a little
Embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose
Of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless
Your heart!
_____
And to those of you who are still having a
Hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, … Bless your
Hearts, I hear they are fixin’ to have classes on Southernness as
A second language!
_____

And for those that are not
From the South but have lived here for a long time, all y’all need
a sign to hang on y’alls front porch that reads “I ain’t from the
South, but I got here as fast as I could.”

Southern girls know
men may come and go,

but friends are
fahevah

!