My grandad used to use the Bible as looroll.
It was a day when loo roll was very very rough on your tender parts, and the bible wwas lovely and smooth in cleaning you out – gold-embossed lining, my dears, gold-embossed lining). It was also free, distirbuted by some sort of Gideon’s Mission – a double God’s end for an unemployed man
It’s a Good Book, grandad used to say, but it has only one trouble – it’s not long enough (he had 9 suriviving kids, in a day when that was normal).
I was told that a Catholic boy came running out to the loo screaming!!