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Working in this field little, agree with all.. thoughts applied here. Bullying today is in so many forms, and the victims most often are those with low self esteem, abusers of drugs and alcohol, perhaps mental health issues, no support, love, lonely but listening to those whom they feel support them, or peers of the group.
Parents in today’s society agree, some not home enough providing perhaps better supervision. But some I know who apply both through television and Internet say children so smart know how to bypass those systems.
Working in the field with those attempting suicide, harm to self, most often reasons offered above are what have seen or heard. Bottom line the major word too heard, “have no one, no one can trust…and finally the worst of all
NO ONE LOVEs ME or WANTS ME. Some do, but still do not feel it…..1 member liked this post.
Drac… It isn’t easy for some not to care what others think, especially when its your peers that you are surrounded with. The whole point about bullying is that the bullies prey on those they perceive as weaker and when it is persistent it can be very difficult to ignore
There are underlying reasons why some people are ‘weaker’ than others, and that is something that can be fixed with the proper treatment.
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If I was not skilled and trained in this area for almost 10 years like many many others of this profession, I would tell you we all agree with you “proper treatment fix” is what we pray and hope for when some one takes his/ her life, considers, and too late to reach too!
Fix comes late often. Some afraid to share or seek help. PTSD- post stress tramatic disorder can come into anyone’s life when issue not resolved when happen so severe and deep with out seeking help. Creating to surface time/time again through other stress possibly developed. Not knowing this young man’s story, very possible the bullying related to other experiences which made him feel as low in life and the few of his thoughts so low with self esteem that the bullying took this poor person over the edge. You need to want to get help, have supporters who will help unconditionally then change can happen, perhaps bullying cease..
Less suicide attempts and those who eventually take own demise..1 member liked this post.
Drac… It isn’t easy for some not to care what others think, especially when its your peers that you are surrounded with. The whole point about bullying is that the bullies prey on those they perceive as weaker and when it is persistent it can be very difficult to ignore
There are underlying reasons why some people are ‘weaker’ than others, and that is something that can be fixed with the proper treatment.
Could you explain why some people are ‘weaker’ (more sensitive?) than others, and what the proper treatment would be?
Most, if not all, adolescents become very secretive and even hostile with regard to their parents at a certain point in their growth. It’s part of growing up, of becoming independent, and parents can easily miss tell-tale signs of problems at school. The best parents don’t try to pry and interfere, but to allow the young person to grow to full adulthood while providing shelter and what understanding is possible given the nature of adolescence.
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British children in surveys are among the unhappiest in the world and it is not just a case of “switching” off their computer or phone to avoid bullies when technology is such a vital tool and part of a young persons life today.
Social media sites allow you to block indivudual users without affecting your ability to continue to use the site normally.
It isn’t as simple as just “blocking” bullies, because quite often those bullies include children in that child’s own peer group. I don’t mean this personally Draculina but when adults don’t even understand the problem, how are they meant to help children with it. Blocking, turning off etc is just a cop out and does nothing to address the real issue.
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Offering help here for you, others, children….
Look for those silent cues to possible problems.
Make time to see when your children come home from school and discuss the day.. see if sleeping patterns change, eating. Look at interest and interactions of others. As parents we do get familar with life styles of those we live with no matter how young or old. May not pick up on it first day or two, careful observations over a few days you will. Look at behavioral changes, body movements, aggressive behavior not a practice used. All signs of stress in which bullying can easily walk through your love one…/and invade the home front…..Could you explain why some people are ‘weaker’ (more sensitive?) than others, and what the proper treatment would be?
That is beyond my understanding of psychology, and mental health conditions.
The treatment however, would depend both on the child, and what is wrong with them.
It isn’t as simple as just “blocking” bullies, because quite often those bullies include children in that child’s own peer group. I don’t mean this personally Draculina but when adults don’t even understand the problem, how are they meant to help children with it. Blocking, turning off etc is just a cop out and does nothing to address the real issue.
If people sending you messages that offend you is a problem, then blocking them makes the problem disapear. There will be no more messages.
1 member liked this post.
sceptical guy wrote: Could you explain why some people are ‘weaker’ (more sensitive?) than others, and what the proper treatment would be? That is beyond my understanding of psychology, and mental health conditions.
I would expect that most anxiety disorders would make make someone more sensitive to abusive comments.
I have no idea what the best way of treating them is though.
Drac, saying that blocking messages makes the problem disappear is wrong., If the kid is at school with the bullies, the problem is still there. If the kid has to travel on the same school bus every day as the bullies, the problem is still there.
Schools in particular need to take bullying FAR more seriously, because it can, and does, lead to suicides. The problem of bullies will never disappear, sadly, because there will always be bullies, however, the consequences for bullying need to be severe enough, to deter any bully and make,them think twice.
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If I may from observation and work…
All make excellent points of view/opinion.
Agree totally parents provide guidance set them on a path, pray and hope, independence decided on own decisions when going through adolescent stages. Many have that nuture provided, and sadly many not provided the opportunity. This in my opinion may start off the weaker process of some children which developing stronger approach thru the adolescent stage, or obtaining own ability to be independent has been provided little disadvantage. In the field we once we’re told independence and maturity for our children was 25. Generation before 16 and up, today, full independence and maturity almost 30…say what..? kids still live out home, marry later so forth ideas..based on.True we can shut off bullying, not listen walk away and so forth. But today’s nature of the beast is wanting a feeling of belonging, fitting in, being accepted, even liked. Some have good opinion for themself, others do not feel very good about themself feel challenged, curious…have low esteem and pride in one self.
One comment hear often in training, “remember who is the adult, who is the child, your children are not your personal friends and can not think on your levels, or have experience like you, they need to still learn.” Of course then on own, in turn children some times want us to believe they are strong for our sake, and no matter age, inside they do not want to show fears, want us to be proud of them regardless. Children also do it with friends.
So would say being able to independent freely ones own decisions decided are their own. Independence for others sadly choices not always right ones….or decision made…..
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