Clement Freud was an extremely witty and talented, if expensive, after dinner speaker. He was much in demand in the 1970’s and 80’s but was also known to be extremely irrascible and suffered fools badly.
I went to a dinner many years ago at which he was the principal speaker. He had spent an extremely boring evening sitting next to the Chairman not only having to eat a poor quality meal, but also having to suffer the Chairman lighting up a cigar afterwards – Clement apparently hated smoking, particularly when done near food.
He was clearly in a foul mood when his turn came to speak and so he stood up and memorably said:
“Mr Chairman, Gentlemen, …. on occasions such as this and bearing in mind the hospitality you have shown me this evening, I have two after dinner speeches – a long one and a short one. You have just heard the long one. Thank you.”
At which point he turned and left the room ….. to a stunned silence.
I suppose that he’ll be missed – but not by those who attended that dinner!!!