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A close friend of mine had to have her Mother placed in a Nursing Home ,
After her husband died , she started to go down hill rather quickly & could`nt really cope on her own , One option was for my friend to move her in with her after all she did have two spare rooms , but on second thoughts decided a retirement home come nursing home was the best option as she does have a full time job to consider ,
The Nursing home is a nice place in quiet tranquil surroundings mostly full of elderly
women , my friends mother found it hard at first to settle in & was confused as you could imagine as she thought she was in a hotel on holiday & could`nt / would`nt agree that this was now her new home , So her character came out of its shell & she was one of those who would`nt stand for any sh1t & if something was on her mind she would tell the staff or have a quiet word with the individual in question .She has been there now for about a year ,
I went back up North to see my Parents last weekend & gave my friend a lift over to see her mum , I WAS IN SHOCK WHEN I SAW HER Its as if they give them drugs & ( Probably do ) just to keep them like cabbages , I looked around the room ( the TV Room ) & every one of them where sat there on cloud nine , they could`nt even string one sentence together .
THIS CANT BE RIGHT Do the staff do this for there own benefit just so they can have an easy shift ….?
Do the staff actually care about the people in these places …?
The cost alone to have her in there is astronomical …….
Everybody wants there Parents to live a long life after they`ve retired dont they ,
You dont want to put them into a Retirement home & pay extortionate fees to go visit & they dont even recognize who you are ….I think something has to be done about these circumstances , after all they`ve worked there whole lives & retired & this is how they end up ….
Theres something wrong somewhere & it has to be delt with soon because its gonna happen to us all one day ……
what do you think ?
if your friend can afford to pay extortionate fees to keep her mother in a home……i suggest she uses the money to hire a private nurse who can look after her during the day when your friend is at work in her own surroundings……then take over at night when she has finished work. and no it doesnt happen to all of us……..my mother is 85 bedridden…and her family cares for her.
cant believe I am agreeing with Ugo but I am…. I worked in a nursing home for 15years as Head Cook, the things I saw would make your hair curl and yes, drugs were used and the families were always told it was for their own safety……… I have seen many a new resident being admitted all fighting and shouting ” its a mistake ” , within a month that person would be in a chair totally doolally…….. it doesnt happen to everyone, only the trouble makers ( or so they are called ). I complained, nothing was done, everything is in black and white, prescriptions for drugs come from doctors not nursing home staff, so who is to blame……. I was told it was none of my business, my job was in jeapordy because I openly complained .
@claire 57 wrote:
cant believe I am agreeing with Ugo but I am…. I worked in a nursing home for 15years as Head Cook, the things I saw would make your hair curl and yes, drugs were used and the families were always told it was for their own safety……… I have seen many a new resident being admitted all fighting and shouting ” its a mistake ” , within a month that person would be in a chair totally doolally…….. it doesnt happen to everyone, only the trouble makers ( or so they are called ). I complained, nothing was done, everything is in black and white, prescriptions for drugs come from doctors not nursing home staff, so who is to blame……. I was told it was none of my business, my job was in jeapordy because I openly complained .
Thats Right Claire they do get them from a Doctor so there is no come back on them .
Its wrong , f00k me I mean who wants to work all there lives knowing after they`ve retired & getting to a certain age means living in such a place , I`ll tell you when i looked round that room it was depressing some had been sat in chairs not even facing the TV , they where just stirring at a wall ffs its not on is it & the staff where just walking past them in blatantly in front of visitors as though it was the norm !!!well we have ‘ Frosty Breaches ‘ aka ma grannie living with us…. so that me my 2 kids and my mam 4 generations in the 1 hoosehold…. believe me its a hard task… and the prob with frosty breaches apart from havin no consideration to others and chain smoke 40 fags aday… whilest coughin her guts up complaining she can’t breathe… she tends to leave things lyin aboot which shouldnt be with 2 kids…. like the other day my wee laddie got into her room… i went to retreave him to find him sitting with this cream smeered onto his head… but the smell was rank burnin… my ikkle darling got hold of ‘frostys’ Immac hair remover for her beard n tash…!!! so no 1 son had to get a no1 hair cut as his hair fell oot and went like cotton wool…..
her older sister stays in a retirement home which she has her home flat with social events she is 89 now and says she has more of a socil life and looks 15 yrs younger than when she first went in….. and is horrified that my ‘frosty breaches’ just wants to smoke and die…..!!! she’s also a fellow smoker but says there’s than much goin on with bingo, outings, trips shopping etc she doesnt smoke as much… and suggested we tried to get ‘ frosty breaches’ into 1 and it would be good for her health…. Im all for putting her into a home like this as she sits upstairs in a veggie state and doesnt bother to socialise and cancels going to see anyone as she is not feeling up to it… and my mam lets her stay behind…
Ugo, i suggest your friend trys to put her into the retirment homes which they have there own self contained flat which has the social scene attached…. my other 2 aunties are aboot to take the plunge into this retirement place also….
Well I am not able to agree with the thrust of this topic. It’s all very well moaning about elderly relatives being over-medicated but one has to wonder what their own families are doing for them.
More often than not, elderly Grandpa or granny gets a bit too much trouble to look after so the children simply pack them off to the old people’s home to await the grim reaper.
They get visited infrequently, until they are nearing the end when everybody starts to worry in case they aren’t left any money.
Meanwhile the staff at the home have to put up with these old people getting pissed and fighting with each other; throwing stuff around and generally making a bloody nuisance of themselves.
Bunging them full of Prozac (or whatever) is a perfectly good way to chemically cosh them so that they can wait to die quietly.
Exactly right PB. I did geriatric nursing for ten years. Patients were visited infrequently, until, as you rightly said, when they were nearing “the end”, then all the distant nieces, nephews and estranged kids would come crawling out of the woodwork and sit round the bed, shedding the odd crocodile tear, hoping that they had been left something in the will. They were like bloody vultures..made me sick they did.
And as for giving them drugs ugo, let me tell you. Some of them old “dears” were downright nasty. If they could take a swipe at you they would. Then when it was visiting time, the old buggers would turn on the tears and tell the relative who would then complain about the “nasty horrible nurse”. You have no idea what it is like nursing geriatrics ugo. I,ts bloody hard work I,ll tell you that much, hence the reason why my back is f***d. And I could tell you tales about “stuff” the patients threw around and it wasn,t crisp packets either! And as for the staff beling allowed a 5 minute break in peace?? Your having a laugh. We wern,t people we were robots and we were expected, according to them, to run around after them constantly. So spare a thought for the poor staff who have to put up with them ugo. Unless you,ve done that kind of work, you have NO idea atall.@bat wrote:
Exactly right PB. I did geriatric nursing for ten years. Patients were visited infrequently, until, as you rightly said, when they were nearing “the end”, then all the distant nieces, nephews and estranged kids would come crawling out of the woodwork and sit round the bed, shedding the odd crocodile tear, hoping that they had been left something in the will. They were like bloody vultures..made me sick they did.
And as for giving them drugs ugo, let me tell you. Some of them old “dears” were downright nasty. If they could take a swipe at you they would. Then when it was visiting time, the old buggers would turn on the tears and tell the relative who would then complain about the “nasty horrible nurse”. You have no idea what it is like nursing geriatrics ugo. I,ts bloody hard work I,ll tell you that much, hence the reason why my back is f***d. And I could tell you tales about “stuff” the patients threw around and it wasn,t crisp packets either! And as for the staff beling allowed a 5 minute break in peace?? Your having a laugh. We wern,t people we were robots and we were expected, according to them, to run around after them constantly. So spare a thought for the poor staff who have to put up with them ugo. Unless you,ve done that kind of work, you have NO idea atall.But I still think its wrong to drug em up for an easy life . That was the point I was trying to bring across thats all .
Somebody has to look after the ones that nobodies families have time for. Turn it around the other way, we would all be up in arms it toddlers were running around loose causing a nuisance cos their families only visit once a week and they are starving to death and causing deaths along the way!
Im dreading getting old. Nobody cares bout you then.
I dont wanna be living after the age of :-k 80 thank you !
Heaven forbid I come back reincarnated as a Dibknob fook me what a terrible affliction that would be . :lol:
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