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Posts
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@*GG* wrote:
Get rid of rubbish! boot them to the kerb if they step out of line – no compromise.
Make a fresh start and move on with your life. Time waits for no man (nor woman). :twisted:
Sound’s abit harsh :shock:
@cass_2000 wrote:
@*GG* wrote:
Get rid of rubbish! boot them to the kerb if they step out of line – no compromise.
Make a fresh start and move on with your life. Time waits for no man (nor woman). :twisted:
Sound’s abit harsh :shock:
YES SIR SARGEANT MAJOR SIR.. :|
pml GG aint seen you around for a while, but full of compassion its nice to see :lol:
Personally i can see both viewpoints Danny you are quite right, if a relationship can get along without it effecting the children in otherwords there is no obvious tensions or fights i agree, but i also agree with cass if it is a destructive relationship it isnt right to let children be part of that either. so i guess it all depends on individual circumstances.As for can you carry on question, this is even harder to answer and i would say an answer that has changed many many times for me, i always had a view that to deal with a broken trust issue isn’t so bad you forgive and try and forget and can move on from it, but in doing so i believe a part of that relationship is non recoverable, there will always be a degree of holding back or preparing for the worst or protecting ones heart, but i’m not sure there is true love tand trust there then or self worth. But on the other side of the fence there is the thing where you stay with that person no matter what, the term u used i think is “you cant bear to live without them”, i honestly and truly feel that is more a case of ownership and control, you need to have them want to have them as your own, but the fact they cheated on you, you already lost that. If a relationship is that important and the love that strong, sorry it was a mistake is complete rubbish, a totally pure love . trust and commitment is unselfish and you do what you do for the other person not your own satisfaction and gain and if you can get two people to do that you are both satisfied as you care for each others needs in an unselfish way, and the question would never arise….. but that said if you can get past it i think you can have a renewed and very successful relationship if you do forgive and forget just maybe not the ultimate one.
danny i thought the same way u did , but my kids thrived after me n there mum split up , no seeing mine by appointment , my door was always open and they always ere :) , i was always there 4 mine wen they was younger , ended relationships if they didnt get on with me kids etc , a few yrs down the line , my kids are young adults and boy am i reaping the benefits now :)
@(f)politics? wrote:
pml GG aint seen you around for a while, but full of compassion its nice to see :lol:
Personally i can see both viewpoints Danny you are quite right, if a relationship can get along without it effecting the children in otherwords there is no obvious tensions or fights i agree, but i also agree with cass if it is a destructive relationship it isnt right to let children be part of that either. so i guess it all depends on individual circumstances.As for can you carry on question, this is even harder to answer and i would say an answer that has changed many many times for me, i always had a view that to deal with a broken trust issue isn’t so bad you forgive and try and forget and can move on from it, but in doing so i believe a part of that relationship is non recoverable, there will always be a degree of holding back or preparing for the worst or protecting ones heart, but i’m not sure there is true love tand trust there then or self worth. But on the other side of the fence there is the thing where you stay with that person no matter what, the term u used i think is “you cant bear to live without them”, i honestly and truly feel that is more a case of ownership and control, you need to have them want to have them as your own, but the fact they cheated on you, you already lost that. If a relationship is that important and the love that strong, sorry it was a mistake is complete rubbish, a totally pure love . trust and commitment is unselfish and you do what you do for the other person not your own satisfaction and gain and if you can get two people to do that you are both satisfied as you care for each others needs in an unselfish way, and the question would never arise….. but that said if you can get past it i think you can have a renewed and very successful relationship if you do forgive and forget just maybe not the ultimate one.
That’s a very interesting and insightful opinion. You seem like a very wise and strong person, I really admire that and I wish I was more like that.Your comment has made me think alot about this subject and I have to say I agree with you 100%.
If you can forgive them then it just might work because forgiving isn’t as simple as letting them off the hook it empowers you to move on. It of course depends on their resulting behaviour.
@pete wrote:
If you can forgive them then it just might work because forgiving isn’t as simple as letting them off the hook it empowers you to move on. It of course depends on their resulting behaviour.
What if they keep doing it tho, but not as often, and you never seem to be able to let them go and always carry that hope and forgiveness….
You cant let them go because it’s safe it’s what you know even though you’re getting hurt at least it’s not emptiness
What if its love that makes you forgive… whats that saying, ” You can get through anything if you have love” or something along those lines…
If you both have it if only one of you does and you know it then it cant survive, then it’s fear of being alone
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