Regrets

In the words of Edith Piaf….

Non ! Rien de rien… Non ! Je ne regrette rien

Not regrets as such but “wished I hadn’t” even though it seemed right at the time. Then again I guess that’s just life…you have to experience certain things to know if they are right or wrong

@jen_jen wrote:

Have to say that none of the regrets in the top 5 apply to me…I don’t have regrets on things that I wish I’d done or hadn’t done, but I do regret that someone close to me couldn’t/wouldn’t tell me why our relationship died and I only found after they died. It was a huge misunderstanding on their part and if I’d have known then I could have put things right between us.

oh dear……..well, nothing you can do about it now, apart from learn from it x

@jen_jen wrote:

I couldn’t force him to tell me, and I moved on with a light heart.
I don’t think it was my lesson to learn, it was his, and my regret isn’t for me, it’s for him as I think his misunderstanding hurt him and ate him up emotionally whereas I was oblivious. The regret is that I couldn’t make things better for him from my position of ignorance, yet it could so easily have been put right.
If that makes sense :?

Yeah, it does – bit sad and a shame! Not your fault either!

@chameleon wrote:

@jen_jen wrote:

I couldn’t force him to tell me, and I moved on with a light heart.
I don’t think it was my lesson to learn, it was his, and my regret isn’t for me, it’s for him as I think his misunderstanding hurt him and ate him up emotionally whereas I was oblivious. The regret is that I couldn’t make things better for him from my position of ignorance, yet it could so easily have been put right.
If that makes sense :?

Forgive me if I am wrong, but how can you speak for him now he has passed? The learning a lesson for him seems a bit harsh for you to say. You cannot know how he felt about the situation, even if it’s what he relayed to someone else regarding it. When someone has an issue and it’s said directly to those affected only then can they ask questions in return to resolve the situation. That’s just my opinion having read your comment. Of course we don’t know the whole situation, I can also appreciate that too. 8)

I cannot speak for him and wouldn’t presume to do so. I can only speak of what I know now about how he felt about the situation because of what he said to others, things that they were quite happy to throw at me after his death as they thought it would hurt me…they had their own reasons for that. What hurt was that he felt able to share those thoughts and feelings with others but couldn’t share them with me but hid behind other things. It was a complex relationship and situation that I won’t go into here, which of course means that without knowing the full situation you may judge me harshly – c’est la vie.

As for learning lessons sounding harsh, well you’d have to know more about my spiritual beliefs to understand that that was intended with compassion rather than harshness.

And therein lies the issue with chatboards and occasionally dipping below the superficial and shallow levels that we normally paddle in. :wink: