Psychological manipulation.

@kent f OBE wrote:

@hecate wrote:

Psychological manipulation is a type of social influence that aims to change the perception or behavior of others through underhanded, deceptive, or abusive tactics.[1] By advancing the interests of the manipulator, often at another’s expense, such methods could be considered exploitative, abusive, devious, and deceptive. Social influence is not necessarily negative. For example, doctors can try to convince patients to change unhealthy habits. Social influence is generally perceived to be harmless when it respects the right of the influenced to accept or reject and is not unduly coercive. Depending on the context and motivations, social influence may constitute underhanded manipulation.

I can not abide psychological manipulation. As soon as I meet someone who uses such tactics, my trust in them is gone.On finding a peer using psychological manipulation, i understand immediately they are no friend. They are looking to use me to create interest in themselves. I find it pretentious, egotistical, peacockish behaviour. That has no place in a friendship.
How ever, I have no problem with a qualified dr, using such tactics on there patient’s.

I,m wondering, what do other people think?

Hi Hectate…welcome to the boards and happy posting xx

Interesting topic. I think if you delve deep enough you will find this kind of manipulation in lots of aspects of our day to day life. Some examples will be softer compared to others. On the other hand if you are not thinking others are manipulative then you won’t see it..well not as a negative anyway.
Also the perception could be different… I could maybe see a husband and wifes PM (short version) differently to what you see it. For instance. As a single person when you go to a Wedding or Party for instance, and you are innocently chatting away with a group of people, a wife may start holding her husbands hand tighter…show more public affection because she may feel the single woman is making “eyes” at her husband. She could be seen as PM’ing him, some might just see her as insecure. Depends as an individual how you read the situation.
If you are talking about incidents in JC. Then yes. For instance…you can be happily chatting to someone in there and then their “mate” enters the room…who you may not necessarily chat too…then you see a change in the person you were originally chatting to…not sure if this is PM of just gutless behaviour from an adult who does not have a backbone and understand they can chat to who they like, without feeling disloyal…see that alot.
Maybe give me some examples Hectate.
To me this topic is like Conspiracy theories….if you look deep enough for it…its there

I watch the room a lot, can be very interesting. Here’s a scenario in a chat room. Two woman in a chat room. Two men watches how they interact. One man says two the other, I fancy the dark one, you can have the blonde. The men make a plan to divide and conquer. Man one starts spreading lies and inflating truths about the dark woman. While man two makes a play for the blonde woman. The blonde woman falls for it, and starts a relation ship with man two. Man two doesn’t want a relationship just some fun.The blonde woman ends up broken-hearted. The two woman’s friendship is irreparably damaged. Very hurtful and destructive behaviour. No winners there.

Thank you very much kenty for the welcome.

Hi Hectate…welcome to the boards and happy posting xx

Interesting topic. I think if you delve deep enough you will find this kind of manipulation in lots of aspects of our day to day life. Some examples will be softer compared to others. On the other hand if you are not thinking others are manipulative then you won’t see it..well not as a negative anyway.
Also the perception could be different… I could maybe see a husband and wifes PM (short version) differently to what you see it. For instance. As a single person when you go to a Wedding or Party for instance, and you are innocently chatting away with a group of people, a wife may start holding her husbands hand tighter…show more public affection because she may feel the single woman is making “eyes” at her husband. She could be seen as PM’ing him, some might just see her as insecure. Depends as an individual how you read the situation.
If you are talking about incidents in JC. Then yes. For instance…you can be happily chatting to someone in there and then their “mate” enters the room…who you may not necessarily chat too…then you see a change in the person you were originally chatting to…not sure if this is PM of just gutless behaviour from an adult who does not have a backbone and understand they can chat to who they like, without feeling disloyal…see that alot.
Maybe give me some examples Hectate.
To me this topic is like Conspiracy theories….if you look deep enough for it…its there

I watch the room a lot, can be very interesting. Here’s a scenario in a chat room. Two woman in a chat room. Two men watches how they interact. One man says two the other, I fancy the dark one, you can have the blonde. The men make a plan to divide and conquer. Man one starts spreading lies and inflating truths about the dark woman. While man two makes a play for the blonde woman. The blonde woman falls for it, and starts a relation ship with man two. Man two doesn’t want a relationship just some fun.The blonde woman ends up broken-hearted. Then man two will come on to the dark woman and when rejected, turn the truth around The two woman’s friendship is irreparably damaged. Very hurtful and destructive behaviour. No winners there.

Thank you very much kenty for the welcome.
I have seen this so many times .Iv seen woman do it to other woman, For one-upmanship or to integrate themselves with a group they want to be part of.

Its a fact men stick together and share. Woman will backbite and biatch.

@trapper wrote:

@hecate wrote:

I watch the room a lot, can be very interesting. Here’s a scenario in a chat room. Two woman in a chat room. Two men watches how they interact. One man says two the other, I fancy the dark one, you can have the blonde.
.

Its massively pedantic I know but how do you know the hair colour :?

Just a scenario I have seen it happen.

@Arc en wrote:

@hecate wrote:

@Arc en wrote:

@hecate wrote:

@Arc en wrote:

@hecate wrote:

@trapper wrote:

Or psychologically manipulative threads

Or it could be an interesting thread. Trapper you seem to dictate to people what they should post about, or they can post about. Nothing manipulating about the thread. Its a topic im interested in. There is a lot of psychological manipulation goes on ,on the internet. That’s a fact.

Hecate … With respect I think you want to have another look at these boards before you make a sweeping statement like that about Trapper of all people.
Based on what – a comment on your thread?
Possibly this wasn’t the best section of the boards if it’s a topic you feel strongly about & wanted serious discussion about.
You are of course entitled to post where you please but, it might not be taken too seriously in this section of the boards. :roll: :o

Well it is a mixture of all different threads. To be honest, talking about with respect. That wasn’t a sweeping statement. Dunno why everything I post people are looking for a snipe.
You cant post, you can’t post here you can’t post there. All I wanted was a little interaction with the subject, we could have made it good banter. Then if it had been someone els who posted, nothing would have been sed. Look,i want to enjoy and cause interest in the boards. Not fight Its not as if everyone is beating a path to the boards. People have posted more serious subject.

Ironic then is it not that you start such a deep thread within 5 posts of registering. Then accuse one of the most popular & respected contributors of being a dictator (nicely skirted over in your reply by the way).
You claim to be a reg but hide under a name , never understood that one.

The only one making snidey remarks is you! To date you have bumped your gums about Laine , then you have a dig at Trapper.
Where has anyone told you where you can & can’t post??

All I said was that if you wanted a serious discussion then the “Getting serious” thread might of been a better place to post.
You and I quote “want to enjoy the boards” well lighten up that might be an idea.

The boards aren’t for everyone & if you look there is & always has been a core of contributors that can talk shyte with the best of them but can also do serious.

Hecate is an interesting name … greek goddess of witchcraft? (Sorry to disagree with ya rogue )

Anyway have a big pinch of salt you need it here … :wink: :lol:

Yeah yeah yeah why don’t you just join in.If you are trying to pit me and traps against each other it wont happen. I had something to say to him and I sed. No problem. See that is what im talking about. I have no problems with traps, I love his posting. There is no harm in telling him what I thought. :roll:

Calm down …. I am not pitching anyone against anyone god forbid . :roll:

You had something to say & so did I …. Chill lighten up. It’s called playing devils advocate there is no malice intended & if you saw it as that then I apologise . :D

Your scenario by the way is a good example seen so often.

As I sed I think its destructive. The poor woman who put up with it are passed around the block. There name is passed around there friends and the men make a beeline for them. I call them hens. They run around after these men doing everything there asked to do. The manipulation is sad, and they do it like headless chickens. The men will call them there best mates, but there not. You don’t use your best mate to do your bidding. You don’t use someone you wouldn’t walk down the street with either in my book.. Try taking on any of these men and you have them and there hens pecking away at you. that can be rather fun to watch. For the woman though its a sad situation, because they know themselves what’s going on. They try to hide it but you can see.I just thank goodness im not a sheep. I can see what happens. I will say if I think something is not right, certainly doesn’t make you popular with manipulating people but people with there own mind can live with that.