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William couldn’t make it to the wedding but he asked me to pass on this poem wot he wrote:

‘Twas in the April of Twa’ Thoosan’ and Six
that Dawny foon herself in a terrible fix.
She’d booked the church, she’d booked the hall
But as the countdown started she worried us all

Hiv ah goat everything soarted she said
In post after post til her fingers sair bled
Why yes, dinnae worry! the JCers replied
But poor Dawny just fretted and sat doon and cried

Night efter night she fretted and footered
Whilst Pluto just lapped it all up and got blootered
Aw feck it! he says when he goat really pissed
She worries aboot things that ain’t even oan her list!

When fine came the day on that special morn
She hoped that the presents did not contain porn
Cos she had to unwrap them in front o’ her folks
Who had no past experience of JCers jokes

But as it turned out there was nothing to fear
Cos only Peter and Tempty from JC were there
And the question that maist folks had in their heid
Was whether or not they were of the right creed

They wurnae boathered if people were ‘brits’
And focussed instead on Dawn’s sister’s tits
And as she got up to make her fine speeches
They laughed and applauded in all the right places

So all worked out well and the wedding succeeded
And Dawny and Pluto went off and they breeded
And if anyone e’r asks why the match was allowed
Lets just all remember that they did us all proud

William ‘Close to the’ Edge

Congratulations Dawny and Pluto, best wishes to both of you and wish you every happiness for the future xxxx xxxx

lol i canny believe they thought that was written by the edge lol it had mair flair… although James ur Scottish spellin alot to be desired lol