-
Posts
-
An update on my stalkers…they’ve changed tactics! I’ve always been suspicious of the larger one with the go-faster stripe, he has a way of looking at you that you just know he’s plotting something. I’ve always thought he was plotting on how to get the lion’s share of the food but now I’m not so sure. Let me recap on this morning’s events.
Mr Jen left early this morning and when I got up I found a note from him – our catflap was locked and blocked as the two stalkers had tried to come into our house while he was having his breakfast! Our cat didn’t take to them at all and there was much hissing and quivering.
With some trepidation I left the house, expecting to be ambushed, but they were nowhere to be seen. I peered under cars and between hedges but absolutely no sign of them as I let myself into their house. Then I got the fright of my life as I was opening the lounge curtains and the largest one launched himself at the window!
I fully expected an all-out assault when I opened the door to their room to feed them, so imagine my surprise when they weren’t there. I waited and waited but still no sign of them, so I left their food and returned to my home. I looked out for them all the way back but they were conspicuous by their absence.When I left home 30 minutes later they were nowhere to be seen initially, then as I started my car, one, the larger one, appeared and sat in the middle of my front garden, fixing me with his steely look, and I swear I saw the other one sneak around the back of the house.
I think they are playing psychological mind games with me, and it seems the salt circle has lost its power. Thank heavens their family come back tomorrow morning and they can take control again…unless…maybe…oh I’ve just had a thought…maybe they are following their family’s instructions, winning our trust whilst casing the joint, and there will be a major coup on their return!
If you hear no more of me, you can probably imagine what has happened. Think of me fondly is all I ask.
This is the ring leader…be careful if he crosses your path, he’s not as innocent as he looks.
Dear reader x
I see they must of got him to match the bathroom tiles.Are you sure its a cat, looks more like a statue.
Im hoping your still alive to read this and youve recovered from your feline antics of this morning.
I feel as though tola is worth another mention as last night at 1.45am i could hear coat hangers sliding along the rails, draws opening and closing again and the microwave in her room going off.What is that woman doing in the early hours, should we ask, should i sneak in and take a look in my just chat jim jams.
Ive just come back from one of the jobs i do delivering meals to the old people,had the usual kisses off the ladies and im smelling of lace perfume at the moment.I do really think all the old people in this country should be put in prison and all the prisoners put in care homes, i think the pensioners would be far better treated.
I rushed downstairs this morning to find my package had arrived off you and ripped it open like an excited child.The chinese doll would look wonderful when painted and adorned with the pins.
The candle is rather larger than i thought, i had doubts when i saw 2 ups men carrying it up the path.Maybe it would look nice at the church of the latter day saints up the road, but i fear i would need to sell furniture to store it in the house.All i need now are some black robes from matalan and the ousting of tola ceremony can begin.
Im feeling very positive today, maybe its the weather as i do love this time of year.I find no better time than to walk through the arboretum at westonbirt this time of year.
How long before im a fully trained hypnotist? x
Reading kent f post on happiness has made me think that most of us are destined to lead fairly mundane lives.The only escape from that for most people is to buy things which would try to get us noticed, flash car, designer clothes etc, as most people would never make an impression outside of their group of friends and family.x
Thank you for your concern. As you can see I survived this morning’s feline antics. This evening’s feline antics were different again, once again an assault on our catflap, then they followed me from my home to theirs. An inordinate degree of friendliness ensued until the food pouches appeared, then there ensued a frenzy worthy of orca whales hunting seals. They then followed me back home and we are now barricaded in. It is with some relief that I will hand the keys back tomorrow and hope that this stalking and mental torture will come to a swift end.
Did you use the sleeping draught I sent you on Tola? I assume that you didn’t, else she is a very resilient creature and I may have to reconsult the Advanced Wiccapedia (subscription only) for an alternative. By the way, where did you get your just chat jim jams and did you notice whether they did a just chat chemise?
I’m so pleased that your parcel arrived safely. As for the candle, have I misunderstood? I thought that the specific nature of your request suggested that you wanted to use it in the phallic enhancement spell so I used the dimensions give on page 32 of Pagan Paradise.
As for the hypnotism training, I’m afraid we can’t start that until I get the swinging watches back in stock. Not that you need them for hypnotism really, but it generates a little additional income for me in these hard financial times. By the way, have you finally stopped crowing like a rooster every time the phone rings now?
Your mention of the arboretum at Wesonbirt intrigued me so I turned to the wonders of google and stumbled across this.
I hope she keeps the flowers well watered otherwise you might not be the only gentleman whose spirits are lifted.x
Im feeling :D at the moment, i did :) today as one old lady was looking :( until i told her my budgie joke.which did :o me and :shock: me as shes normally quite :? which is 8) as we both were :lol:
There was one woman today a bit :x whos always a bit :P but when i caught her on the toilet with door open she was a bit :oops: i said dont be
im not :evil: or :twisted: she :roll: then :wink: gawd :!: :?: i thought, then had an :idea: and :arrow:@a certain sadness wrote:
Im feeling :D at the moment, i did :) today as one old lady was looking :( until i told her my budgie joke.which did :o me and :shock: me as shes normally quite :? which is 8) as we both were :lol:
There was one woman today a bit :x whos always a bit :P but when i caught her on the toilet with door open she was a bit :oops: i said dont be im not :evil: or :twisted: she :roll: then :wink: gawd :!: :?: i thought, then had an :idea: and :arrow::D :D :D
Well im in a reflective mood at the moment as our manager at work passed away today.She had fought cancer for a long while, but still worked right up until 2 weeks ago.I used to have a good laugh with her in the office, doing my impressions whilst she was giggling.I feel sad for her 2 teenage daughters and husband and send them my good wishes for the future x
So sorry Certain….. she sounds to have been a brave lady
Yes she was mrs teapot thank you for taking the time to write x
In the end i had to use the sleeping draught on myself, have been zonked out all weekend dreaming of clouds and elephants.
Theres no sign of tola at the moment, she went to london on friday evening and we havnt seen her since.I thought when she arrived she would telling me stories of die kaap van goeie hoop and the soweto townships, but its been all about lewisham high street where she has a flat.
If you look at page 8 of your just chat nightwear catalogue you will see a lovely chemise in both black and red with a choice of writing on the back.I find the one with forum 3 on the back rather sexy.
I fear we may of got mixed up with the spells as the phallic reduction spell was what i was after.The candle you sent was being loaded on a flat bed trailer to be returned to you today, i hope you didnt mind me removing the wick as we needed a new washing line.
I was reading about some of the tricks the show hypnotists used to use yesterday.A classic was when they had someone up on stage they whispered to the person that if they went along with it they would pay them money after the show.Once the person pretended they were under the hypnotist would tell the audience that when he was back with them the person would lie and tell everyone that they were being paid.The person had no way out of it.
Of course the jen and certain hypnosis clinic will be nothing like that.In every walk of life you always get the con artists.Its something that does interest me though and i look forward to spending many hours under your guidance.Im so demanding x
The weather is not good here today hence me writing to you at this time,hopefully if it clears up later i might make the effort.
Please someone give me a motivation tablet x
Get involved in this discussion! Log in or register now to have your say!