Pebbles jokes

I pulled out three teeth today. I was about to pull out a fourth but the old bag surrendered and gave me her PIN.

My wife is forever saying I don’t pay her any attention. So yesterday I was expecting brownie points when I said, “Have you had your hair done dear? You look different.”
She went ballistic. I won’t forget she’s having chemotherapy again in a hurry.

Petrol is way too fu.cking expensive these days. I actually can’t afford to drive. Last time I went dogging, I had to ask my mum to give me a lift.

An English cat called “One two three” and a French cat called “Un deux trois” are arguing over which cat is the best swimmer, so they decide to have a race over the English channel and, of course, the English cat won, because the Un deux trois cat sank!