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Turns out that the local paki drug dealers had been cutting cocaine with curry powder.
My mate took some, and spent 6 months in a Korma.
The police pulled a man over the other day and asked if he had been drinking.
He said, “I’m sorry, officer, was I driving a bit all over the place?”
The policeman said, “no, we just noticed the big, fat, ugly woman in the passenger seat.”A Suicide Bomber runs into a Pet Shop and yells “You’ve all got a minute to get out!”
The Tortoise at the back of the shop shouts “you Cu.nt”
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent’s house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, “he had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.”
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
“Oh no, my dear,” replied granny, “many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice, slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong.”
She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, “He’d still be alive if the ice cream van hadn’t come along.”A man hates his wife’s cat so much he drives to the next town and dumps it.
When he gets home it’s there.
Next day he drives 50 miles and dumps it.
When he gets home it’s there.
So the next day he drives to the other side of the country and dumps it.
One hour later he rings his wife and asks “Is the cat home?”
“Yes, why?” asks his wife.
“Put the cu.nt on,” he says “I’m fu.cking lost.”@~Pebbles~ wrote:
A man hates his wife’s cat so much he drives to the next town and dumps it.
When he gets home it’s there.
Next day he drives 50 miles and dumps it.
When he gets home it’s there.
So the next day he drives to the other side of the country and dumps it.
One hour later he rings his wife and asks “Is the cat home?”
“Yes, why?” asks his wife.
“Put the cu.nt on,” he says “I’m fu.cking lost.”:lol: :lol:
I was having dinner with my boss and his wife, and she asked me, “How many potatoes would you like?”
“Oh, I’ll just have one, please.”
She said, “It’s OK, you don’t have to be polite.”
“All right,” I said, “I’ll just have one then, you stupid bit,ch.”
It’s a pity Zimbabwe hasn’t got any oil, people might give a shi.t…..
What did the dad buffalo say when he left his son?
Bison.
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