Ol’ Ma Threebellies Gofradump

I’ve mentioned this venerable lady before, and from what I hear she’s on the rampage.

The reason is not hard to find.

All she hears day and night is the sound of her poor Princess Anita sobbing, with the most dreadful snorting noises arising. She’s been feeding the Princess five cheeseburgers a day and a lot of lemon sherbert to keep the poor darling’s spirit up, but no..the Princess is crushed by the eloquence and sheer writing skill of the Juvenile Editor of JC’s Stories, Nasty and Funny department.

Now this is the woman who was used to stop the Panzers in Stalingrad. This is the woman Wajda was trying to employ to create the realistic ambience in Kanal. This is the woman who nearly scared Damien to death in The Omen (uncensored Greoory Peck version).

She knows how valiantly Ms K and my good self have fought for hours and hours to combat the little malice of the author of this story and the cruel people laughing and heckling her poor, sensitive Princess,

But she has seen some of the blackest hearts in JC at work, too.

I’ve done my duty. I have warned Cosy (aka Cosy the Gent), and he has fled into the depths of the Blackpool Sewers – those same sewers which once gave the golden sands of that fair resort their particular colour which I remember from childhood holidays (“it’s a dirty town’, said Nye Bevan when he went there). Even the smell of the Warsaw sewers in Kanal couldn’t match the hiding place chosen by Cosy so Ol’ Ma won’t be able to sniff him out. In that safe refuge, he taps out his morse code learned from the Beano to send messages to his computer to communicate to us all here. Good on ya, Gent, keep up the stout work.

Cosy, don’t worry, I’ll tell you when everything has calmed down.

Coathanger is the main target of Ol Ma, though, but no worries here so far. Coathanger is safe, very safe indeed. Nobody knows who she or he is, not even Minnie Mouse (though she says she does!!), not even others sworn to secrecy, and nobody, not even Dr Who or Elizabeth Bishop, will be able to get to our esteemed Editor. Keep anonymous, dear..we all understand.