New Year Suggestions

The New Year was approaching and JC was buzzing with suggestions for a likely resolution to adopt en masse.

“I know” said Squelshy “we’ll have a room party and I can pair all the single chatters , that’s my resolution to create happiness through love or lust”
Wordsmith snorted his disgust ” What about the married men who want a bit extra, I don’t mind who it is or what they look like Honest” He stormed off to google another series of long words in which to impress nobody but himself.

Anc Scowled she was too much a lady with principles to allow this to happen. ” Its not going to happen I’ll see to that” She had influence, or was it influenza. ?. She had something that was for sure, and, not one to start rumours I won’t make suggestion as to what it might be.

Sin was smiling to himself , his grin exposing the nicotine stains on his dentures. “Great, I’ll get my wish at last and knock Vippy & Thin off the top spot as the room stud”. His crotch twitched as the thought of this sent ripples through his manly physique and the twinge from his hernia erupted into a dull throbbing.

Jadet was almost dancing with glee I say almost as she’d over indulged of the chocolate Swiss rolls & Benedictine that had fallen off HGVs lorry during a social call.

Poli with her sensible head on was about to suggest a kinder year to animals but soon realised that she actually didn’t like one or two of the animals in JC so she kept quiet and carried on defrosting for Fat Niel who was showing an unnatural interest in her icicles.

Claire slurred forth what she considered to be her best suggestion ever “Free liquid refreshment for those of us who spend all our waking time in JC”, She burped. farted & followed through then continued ” Free cardboard cut-outs of men I don’t do real men”. Blonde quickly jumped in and added “From Here” on claries’ behalf.

Tinks was tinkering with what she had no idea but from the smile Billyards face she guessed it wasn’t upsetting anyone and Billy insisted she kept tinkering. She raised her hand coyishly and Madame Squelshy nodded at her to speak. “May I please be excused I need wee wee”,. The room erupted in laughter as Tinks scuttled off leaving Billy to hastily pack his lunch box away which had mysteriously come open.

Suddenly the Room fell silent as Gruppenführer LD goose stepped into the doorway, resplendently dressed in black with patent leather jodhpurs and her cap symmetrically placed on her syrup of fig, her Gestapo badges polished to an eye blinding shine. “Ve vill not be making any changes to Just Chat you vill all continue to do as ve say or you vill be shot”. The Room gasped everyone knew she meant it even Asian cowered behind one of his scrolls in the hope LD wouldn’t spot him.

Maria S having been savaged by 3 mice earlier in the day decided she had nothing to lose and stepped forward, Her Gucci shoes echoing through the silence. All heads turned to Maria S as she strode in hands on hips and faced LD. Was this to be the credit card fight at the OK Coral ??? LD looked at Maria then went for her Visa Card Maria slightly faster brought out a boots advantage card “Bugga” She murmured “that’s not mine”. She quickly stuffed it in her padded bra and replaced it with a Diners Club Card. No one dared breath , tensions were running high Maria & LD in a stand off. The Cards glittered in the spotlight than thin Ice had so often tried to focus on him, the silence was deafening ……………..

Merryman came into the room like a ballistic missile ” Look what I got Look what I got” His hand raised high in the air. Heads swung in his direction then a titter became a laugh then erupted into hysterics as Merryman was clutching a fistful of vouchers for Poundland. “With these I can get 24 tins of Sliced Peaches for a quid”. Both Maria and LD knew they couldn’t match Merryman so pocketing their cards they sidled off into the sunset..