Mothers Day 11 Years On

Mum
It’s been eleven long years since I’ve been able to tell you just how much you mean to me, For me to able to thank you for all you have done for me on this special day for mothers.
During these past eleven years I have missed you so much, in ways that might seem so silly to others.
There has been thousands of times I’ve just wanted so desperately to pick up the phone and call you, or be able to pop round for a chat show you my children’s school reports, the yearly trips to church on Christmas eve, I know you looked forward to that night each year and when we returned we would exchange gifts and have a glass of wine and mince pie before I got the children’s present’s set up around the tree then I would take you home, it seems so ironic now but I even miss those weekly shopping trips that were such a chore. I miss our Sunday lunches with you, hubby, kids, and me. We always use to meet every Sunday we chatted about everything that happened that week, sometimes we would get into heated debates, but I think most families do.
You were always there for me through the bad times in my life when I was little and had nightmares, or fell over grazed my knee, when I lost my way in life you picked me up and dusted me down and put me back in the right direction, I have tried so hard to be the person you would have wanted me to become I remember your words I try to treat others with respect I try to be honest, and open,
Your love and support help me cope with the hardest moment in my life the death of my precious son Dom, you missed the birth of your beautiful granddaughter your little rose bud you called her I’m just so thankful I brought her into see you in hospital the day after she was born we took a picture of you and her together left one there for you and framed the other it hangs over my fireplace the last photo of you I ever got to take.
I hope that you can still see me; I like to believe you are looking over me, and that you know of everything that has taken place since you passed away especially the births of my other children.
I would willing give up everything I own and more to be able to see your face just once more, or even hear your voice saying your proud of the way me and your grandchildren have turned out.
There isn’t a day that passes when thoughts of you don’t come to mind
I see you in the faces of my children, I can imagine you singing along when I play your Elvis tapes, I sense you behind me laughing, when I say the things to my children that you used to say to me. Although I always swore to you I would never say them to mine, but it’s just not the same as you being here.
There are so many things I want to say
But I just cannot find the words, but I know you understand
Mothers day is extra hard for me I dread it every year for I have lost my wonderful mother, and precious son.
When I lost you both
a big part of me died too.
The only comfort I draw from this is I know my son is with you,
Please, protect and watch over him give him lots of cuddles and love for me mum until I can once again see you both wrap my arms around you, and take over being his mum.
I know that this is silly but sometimes I feel I failed you both.
I long to feel your protective arms around me telling me everything will be all right. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you the day you died mum I would change it if I could.
That sunny June day, as I raced to be by your bed,
A million thoughts spun through my head.
Were you in pain were you aware?
Did you sense, I was not there?
I’ve relived that day so many time’s
Playing it over and over again in my mind
Just hoping I could change the ending
Preying that you felt the love I was sending
Begging I could have told you once more,
“I love you Mum ” as I had before.
To talk of the past, or things yet to do.
As I sit here thinking with my pen in my hand
My head bowed down I ponder on these sad thoughts.
Then memories Of You flood my mind
I remember everything about you,
Your scent, you smile, your touch,
The way you walked, the way you talked,
The way you smiled at me meant so much.
I remember all the words you said to me,
Some funny, some wise, some seemed unkind
All of the things you did for me,
I see them all now with wiser eyes.
You are gone from me now,
But one thing no one can take away,
Your memory that resides inside my heart,
And they light up my darkest days…
You are my wonderful Mother
Angel’s took you, my wonderful mother,
Made you a mother who would never grow old;
For as far back as i can remember
You showed me how to be myself
You showed me leadership
You taught me to be strong
You taught me the importance of family
You provided me with unconditional love
You have showed me to be sensitivity to people’s needs
You handed down to me the important values in life
You showed me I can obtain my goals
You set me an example, throughout your life
Of what a mother and woman should be like
You were always by my side to give me support
To give me confidence, and advice (even when not wanted )
For as long as I can remember
You were the person I looked up to
So strong so sensitive so pretty
You always provided me with stability
Full of laughter full of tears full of love
What I have become today, its due to your love
When you have a mother
Who cares so much for you?
That anything you want
Become her desires
When you have a mother
Who is so understands that?
No matter what is bothering you
She can make you smile
When you have a mother
Who is so strong that
No matter what obstacles she faces
She is always confident in front of you
When you have a mother
Who actively pursues her goals in life?
But includes you in all her goals
You are very lucky indeed
Having a mother like you
Made it easy to grow up
Into a loving, strong adult
Thank you for being this kind of wonderful mother.
Still today you are everything
i want to become and i promise
i will teach my children the same i wish i could tell you today how much i love and miss you

Just a few lines, To show we still care To say how much we miss you, And to wish you could still be here We know that you are happy now, You’re free from hurt and pain We know that you still love us, But our lives are not the same Your grandchildren miss you dearly, There so sad you had to leave You are a special mum and Nan, Now all we can do is grieve Happy Mothers Day Mum
lots of love
Angel
X x X