mohk talent agency.

I would like to wish all chatters here a merry xmas firstly.

This post comes with good news and bad sadly.

Some of you are aware ive started a talent agency, and where else would you find talent then just chat?

Allow me to introduce some members of my stable.

At the top price end I have a bruce groblaar lookalike based in the north west he also does a mean tommy cooper impression, we are talking a four figure fee here.

For any male jc party may I recommend the exotic dolphin hotel female dancing troup.

These glamorous girls will accept scratch cards as payment.

For the more odd just chat party may I recommend dexy the spitting lama act.

He will walk menacingly around any party spitting on the floor making general public sprited comments. Will accept anything from the buffet as payment. No booze please as this tends to ruin his act.

Now on to my beckham like protégé the nine ball star.

Im afraid hes not available for hire as this client is in the sports field.

Im sorry to say this is where the unpleasentness starts.

I  logged into chat and the convo went like this.

MCFC; Milkys a lovely bloke nine but he can barely spell his own name or count, did I tell you I drink with steve davis nine?

Womanly women; Yes nine ball my sentiments too lets be honest here milky has got you gigs around blackpool in working mans clubs but hes no simon cowell, me and mcfc have contacts not only at the bbc but the crucible.

What a bunch of snakes!

None of my stable will betray me least of all nine ball.

Im watching you 2 you better stay off my patch.