-
Posts
-
Several years ago I was out with someone that I considered a close friend, a beer or two or more had been consumed and we were on the edge of an honesty session…you know, the kind that comes when the alcohol has loosened the tongue a little!
He suddenly looked at me and said “After all this time I still don’t know you.” I was taken aback and said “Don’t be stupid, I’m an open book and you know me better than anyone” to which he replied “no, I know all about you, but I don’t know you, not the real you inside.”
On sober reflection I realised the truth in the words. I readily share my experiences, stories of my life, always hoping that others will avoid some of the mistakes I’ve made and the hurts I’ve experienced, but I rarely let anyone close, I rarely drop that mask. So many people know about me, but I think only two people really know me, yet so many trust me with their innermost thoughts, worries, concerns and bare their souls for me to see yet I rarely do the same in return.
Those people are brave, in comparison I am a coward.
Those people will always have others to turn to in time of need.You look my way but what do you see?
You think you know me but do you really?
If you think you do then you’re very wrong,
You know the mask and the wall so strong,
The wall I built to keep people out,
Now no one knows what I’m truly about.
Brick by brick I built that wall
So high, so deep, it will not fall,
It keeps me safe and far apart
From anyone who could touch my heart
And trace the lines of every scar…
No, better you only see me from afar.Like love, confidentiality can be a weapon…
I’ve never thought of either as weapons… :-k
Hmm…
how do I answer this without annoying Jen, who does not seem a person who could be annoyed with safety :shock: , or who should be annoyed :) .
Confidentiality seems to be used by you as a means of getting someone to be close to you, as breaking down the armour, the barriers which separate us. That is my meaning of weapon. You seem very clear about how you use it Jen, which is why I respect your communications.
Love as a weapon is potent, and I am definitely not saying you use it as such, Jen.
But I’ve seen it used like that.
Lovers can use it that way, but my memory is of a parent talking to her child – if you keep acting that way, I won’t love you any more. Or – That isn’t the real you, because I love the real you. That is the naughty you, and I don’t love the naughty you.
You ahve to be mature to really love your children, or your lover. No?
@sceptical guy wrote:
Hmm…
how do I answer this without annoying Jen, who does not seem a person who could be annoyed with safety :shock: , or who should be annoyed :) .
That made me laugh! :lol:
It takes a lot to annoy me so I think you’re safe but when I am annoyed then you’re right – look out! :twisted:
@sceptical guy wrote:
Confidentiality seems to be used by you as a means of getting someone to be close to you, as breaking down the armour, the barriers which separate us. That is my meaning of weapon. You seem very clear about how you use it Jen, which is why I respect your communications.
Now this has bemused me.
I don’t encourage others to confide in me but for some reason they do…apparently I’m the kind of person that people feel comfortable pouring their heart out to, they feel that I won’t sit in judgement of them, view them any less of a person, and that it will remain confidential – all of which is true. When people do confide in me I feel honoured that they trust me so and respect that trust and repay it with my confidentiality. I don’t use it to get people to be close to me though. If they never talk about such things again, if our relationship reverts to how if was before the confidence, then that is fine with meWhen it comes to my confidentiality, keeping my inner self and my problems and worries to myself, then the brick wall is high and deep and the mask is on. I don’t want people to get that close, trust is a big issue for me and not something I give lightly. Far from using confidentiality to get people to be close to me and far from breaking down the armour and barriers that separate us…in fact the opposite is true, I use my own confidentiality to strengthen that barrier. So yes, maybe I do use confidentiality as a weapon but as a weapon of defence, and only my own confidentiality.
I envy those that trust more freely than I, that share so much, in doing so they form strong bonds of friendship that outweigh the risks of the few that would betray that trust, friendships that they can fall back on in times of trouble.
Does that make sense? And is this starting to sound like a therapy session? :lol:
Hope you’re not taking offence, Jen.
Mine is a general point. I can’t comment on you in the end as we don’t know each other
I’m not taking offence, just looking behind my own mask, being a bit self-indulgent I guess…
Get involved in this discussion! Log in or register now to have your say!