Magic Mushrooms

I hate frozen and tinned mushrooms, they are rank.
I survived on mushroom butties for two days.
and theres no need to shove them up my a rse because the stomach doesn’t digest them I was pooing pure mushrooms for days.

Now
I bought a cooked chicken for tea the other day and the carcass (everything cept the breast)has sat forlornly in my fridge
I was going to make a soup/stew/pie with the leftovers.
Everytime I open the fridge door it screams *please don’t waste me*

One of my phobias is stripping meat off a chicken carcass.
It’s gross.

If I seal it in ten thousand carrier bags and place it in a black refuse bag in the garden you can guarantee cats have dragged it and the rest of my personal rubbish all over my lawn by the next morning.
I end up keeping it in my fridge till refuse collection day and chasing the bin men down the street with it.
Luckily they know me now and have stopped fleeing at the sight of me.