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The elf said to Kevin, “You’re probably wondering why I’m sitting here at your breakfast table this morning, helping myself to your condiments. Kevin, I’m here to make you a very special offer – let’s call it a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Today you’re 44 years and thirty-six days old, and that’s exactly how long you’ve got left! Let me save you the mental arithmetic: you’re going to live till you’re eighty-eight and seventy-two days, and you have just crossed the halfway line. It’s what we elves like to call “the tipping point”. So, Kevin, as of now, you can either carry on regardless and pretend we never met. Or say the word, and I can flip the hourglass on its head. Do you see what I’m saying? So instead of getting older you’ll be heading back in the other direction. I’ve got all the forms – you just sign here, here and here and it’s goodbye incontinence, hello Ibiza. What do you say, Kevin?”.
The arthritis in Kevin’s shoulder had been bothering him of late, and the prospect of revitalising his tired and aching joints was tantalising to say the least. Imagine crusading once again through the unconquered landscapes of early manhood, knowing what he knew now. But what about Annie, the woman he loved, the only woman he’d loved in his whole life? Could he really go swanning around with a young man’s intentions and a fashionable t-shirt while she slipped towards undignified infirmity and toothless old age? How cowardly, to let her walk death’s shadowy footpath alone, thus betraying hie every promise to her, thus breaking every vow. And an image formed in his mind – Annie with ghostly hair and faraway eyes, cradling him in her limp, skinny arms, roses in a vase on the bedside table next to tissues and ventilator, his flawless cheek against her grey cotton gown, his tiny mouth moving hungrily towards her sunken breast.
“I won’t do it. Because of my Annie”, said Kevin, emphatically. The elf said, “Kevin you’re a gentleman, and God knows there aren’t many of them around. And you’re Annie, she’s one in a million”. He wiped a few crumbs of crispbread from the corner of his mouth and added, “No two ways about it, had the pleasure of breakfasting with her just a few months ago. A stunning, captivating woman. And looking younger every day”. Then with a shuffle of his silver slippers on the hardwood floor, he was gone.
Oh that’s good, I might have to borrow that one :)
Oh no! This is so beautiful and sad.
I hope this story is not with the intention of applying it generally, to genders!
Well I feel like I am getting both younger and older at the same time! Physically older and mentally younger!
Only as old as you feel (oh Cliche!)
And I just meant… it sounded a bit… just a tad bit misogynist. As in: Implying women would choose the youth fountain over love.
Could be wrong!
Really? I am usually on the ball with that sort of thing. I don’t see the poem as having that sort of message. I think it is much more about personal choice. :)
Hmm maybe…..
I think her personal choice was selfish and inconsiderate though.
She chose to grow apart from her partner while he blissfully would have grown old with her. :(
That is a scary thought, actually.
I wonder why she chose that.
Maybe she resented him because of a previous affair.
Maybe she thought he would die before her, leaving her too heart broken to live on without him.Goddammit, I want to know why she chose that!
I wish there was a sequel of Annie and the Elf’s conversation!
Maybe she was tricked by the elf? Or maybe he was lying. Or possibly he couldn’t flip the hourglass anyway. Not that I would ever bad-mouth elves. How would you write the encounter between Annie and the elf, Cherriepie?
@martin43 wrote:
Maybe she was tricked by the elf? Or maybe he was lying. Or possibly he couldn’t flip the hourglass anyway. Not that I would ever bad-mouth elves. How would you write the encounter between Annie and the elf, Cherriepie?
Oh how exciting! I get to write the mystery dialogue between Annie and the Elf! :o
Truth be told, I actually already imagined it in my head upon reading it!Okay, here it goes with due respect to Mr Armitage.
“Ah Annie, always up before Kevin, perfecting his breakfast” Elf teases, while reaching for the freshly spread out condiments
“How did you get in this time, Elf?” Annie asks, slapping his hand away
“I’m an Elf Annie, I have my ways… but… I’m not here about that, I am here to give you a final chance to accept that very special offer I mentioned the other week”
“… I ..I don’t know…you should leave, Kevin will be up soon” she says as she takes the piece of toast away from Elf.
“And how is Kevin? Jenny from the office not keeping him away again, is she?”Before Annie could offensively interject, Elf sits Annie down, the atmosphere changes, tension rises, he intently tells her:
“Annie. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Gazing into the mirror every morning and night, noticing the undeniable truth of your youth decaying underneath life’s battles, all the missed eye contacts between you and Kevin…As of now, you can either carry on with a flightless heart, and pretend that we never met. Or say the word, and I can flip the hourglass on its head. Do you see what I’m saying, Annie? Instead of getting older, you’ll be heading back in the other direction. I’ve got all the forms right here, you just sign here, here and here and it’s goodbye to Plain insecure Annie and Helllo to the Annie Kevin wants, the Annie that was lost”
Annie fiddles with her wedding band, she thinks of her youth, her faded aspirations, sacrifices she made over the years, the burning drive that attracted Kevin to her in the first place, now a dying flame. Her college folder now replaced with recipes, her paint tubes drying onside of unfinished canvases. Flashbacks of women cooing and their echoing laughter at Kevin’s unprecedented charm, her cravings for Kevin to look at her instead of through her, to hold her in his arms like his world depended on her. She thinks about his sore shoulders of late, how quickly her hands tire giving him his nightly massage to ease the pain. Her dreams could be relived and achieved, Kevin will have a new found respect for her …. she slowly nods in agreement as her eyes well up.
Elf’s empathetic expression turns into a knowing smirk as he hands her a pen. Annie numbly signs away with a tear streaming it’s way down her cheek. Before she could finish her vivid daydreams of Kevin falling in love with her all over again and at the ending curve of her signature, Elf was gone! :o :o :o
(I also thought of the other likely scenario, where Annie is an ungrateful narcissistic wrench who is bored of Kevin, but I believe the above version would be more accurate and enchanting :D )
Very nice indeed and I can tell it is so you! If I was going to write a piece, then I guess I would ask the elf if he would make us both the same offer. Or I would write something totally nuts, surreal and rather silly! Thanks for being such a wonderful ‘sport’ Cherriepie. :)
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