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  • #13264

    3-year-old Reece :
    ‘Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
    Harold is His name.
    Amen.’

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    A little boy was overheard praying:
    ‘Lord, if you can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it. I’m having a really good time like I am.’

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.

    His father asked him three times what was wrong.

    Finally, the boy replied ‘That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys.’

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service ‘And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?’

    One bright little girl replied ‘Because people are sleeping.’

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3.

    The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.

    Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.

    ‘If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, ‘Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.’

    Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, ‘ Ryan , you be Jesus !’

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand.

    ‘Daddy, what happened to him?’ the son asked.

    ‘He died and went to Heaven,’ the Dad replied.

    The boy thought a moment and then said ‘Did God throw him back down?’

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said ‘Would you like to say the blessing?’

    ‘I wouldn’t know what to say,’ the girl replied.

    ‘Just say what you hear Mummy say,’ the wife answered.

    The daughter bowed her head and said ‘Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?’

    #400703

    Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry
    Says to Paddy, ‘Dat’s dem.’

    The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.

    Yeah, we’ll take four of dem dere little budgies
    In dat cage up dere,’ says Gerry .

    The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box.

    Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry ‘s truck to drive to theTop of the Connor Pass.

    At the Connor Pass , Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, ‘Dis looks like a grand place.’

    He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff.

    Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.

    Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, ‘Fook dat.
    Dis budgie jumping is too fook’n dangerous for me!’

    THERE’S MORE…

    Moment’s later; Seamus arrives up at ConnorPass.

    He’s been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other.

    ‘Hi, Paddy, watch dis,’ Seamus says.

    He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free.

    He then throws himself over the edge of the cliff with the gun.

    Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot.

    Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone
    In his body.

    Paddy shakes his head and says, ‘And I’m never trying dat parrotshooting either!’

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